O Christmas... WHOA! That Tree is HUGE!

I don't like name-calling. I mean, even though I'm terrible at times, and in my mind I'm thinking, "Gosh, that is so white-trash." Or "What a redneck!" I would never say those things out loud, and I would never let people know that I *think* those things... *ahem*

Anyway, I have a story to tell you. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I just said. Nothing. At all. Nope. Nada. Mm-hmm... yeah.

So my next door neighbors... They let their 4-year-old daughter pick out their Christmas tree. Yeah, she picked out one that was over TWELVE feet high. Kid you not. (I know that I tend to exaggerate, but really this story is so crazy, I don't even have to! *That's* how crazy it is! *I*, me, Emmett. I *don't* have to exaggerate this story.)

Anyway... And our ceilings? Yeah, they're 7.5 feet tall.

So they actually brought that tree home. Yes, and it was sitting outside on their back-porch. And I swear to God, you could climb up that tree and then climb into their 2nd story window if you wanted to. I mean, if you *wanted* to. I'm just sayin'.

I asked them what possessed them to buy a tree that large. Their answer? "It didn't look *that* big at the lot." How could it not look that big? It's almost three times the height of the wife! And it was *in* the ground at the tree farm, meaning it was *taller* there than it was when they brought it home.

So yeah, the story gets worse. "But Emmett..." You ask "... what could *possibly* be more stupid than buying a twelve foot Christmas tree for 7-foot ceilings." Yeah, they actually tried to move it into the house. Mm-hmm. I'm being serious. Nope, not joking. Needless to say, it didn't fit. Pfff.

They ended up sawing off part of the tree so they could fit it in the house. No, they didn't saw off the *bottom* half to bring that part into the house. That would have been funny though, wouldn't it? Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who is smart enough to *ask* the height of the tree before she purchases one...

He Could Be Famous!

I really want Jeremy to be a voice-over artist. He'd be SO good at it. He was an announcer in high school and college, and he became SO popular.

Problem is... that business is pretty hard to get into. He'd probably have to be a radio DJ first, and he doesn't want to do that. Dork. Or maybe you have to sleep with somebody to get a big job like that. I don't know. But I wouldn't want him sleeping with any CEOs. Some of those guys are nasty. Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who would love it if her husband could just find something he'd enjoy...

The Cutest Twins in the World.

My nieces are so cute. My sister told me this story the other day:

My sister: Brenna, would you like some whipped cream on your Jell-O?

Brenna: Well, that stuff *is* fabulous, but no thank you.

And another story:

My sister walks into their bedroom one morning, and Alaura is twirling.

My sister: Alaura, what are you doing?

Alaura: I'm pretending that I'm Princess Fiona from Shrek... the motion picture.

LOL! I kid you not. She said those exact words.

Tee hee. Did I mention that Brenna and Alaura are not even three-years-old yet? Those twinkies crack me up.

*emmett* ~ who can't wait to meet her sister's new daughter... when she's born in two months

Ken Jennings... is... *sniff* ... gone... *sniff*...

Dear Ken Jennings,

I miss you already.

Love,
*emmett* ~ who is sad to see Ken go...

My Letter to Julia Roberts.

Dear Julia Roberts,

Thank you so much for naming your twins Phinnaeus and Hazel and not Jacob, Jaden, Tyler, Emma, Madison or Katelin (et al spellings). (Not that those are bad names, they're perfectly good, pretty names!)

It's just that... In five years (heck we have millions of them already), we will have so many of those kids, you won't ever find any other names on personalized stationary or refrigerator magnets. You'll only be able to find those six names. Okay, maybe Ava and Ella and Aidan and Braden and Caden will be in there too, but that's about it. Oh, look... I'm getting off on a tangent here. Just... thanks. Good names and congrats to you!

*emmett* ~ who thinks that unusual, unique and creative names are cool.

Missing the Pumpkin Pie.

I just remembered that I didn't put any sugar in my pumpkin pie. I used Splenda instead... so it probably would have been okay for breakfast. I'm such a cotton-headed ninny muggins. Oh well.

*emmett* ~ who will probably make another pumpkin pie. Hers is gone...

My Very Own Thanksgiving!

The morning after Thanksgiving, I always want to have pumpkin pie for breakfast. Today is no exception. However, I am much wiser this year than I have been in years past. I remember that sugary desserts and I do not go well together... especially in the morning. So I had two slices of toast instead. :)

Yesterday, I cooked for four hours. No, I didn't have family over. It was just Jeremy and me. But I liked it. I LOVE cooking, and yesterday was fun. I've never cooked that much food, and I've never made any of the stuff I made, and I've definitely never cooked for four hours without stopping. *laugh* But it was still fun. So... for the first time, I made:

an 11.5-pound turkey (which looks beautiful, if I do say so myself...)
yummy stuffing (that turned out fantabulous, if I do say so... tee hee)
pumpkin pie
mashed potatoes w/gravy (okay, I've made that before yesterday)
a loaf of bread

ALL.BY.MYSELF. I'm so cool.

*emmett* ~ who gives her mom most the credit since she used her mom's cookbook for the entire meal... except for the seasoning in the stuffing... that was my own concoction...

p.s. And now we have TONS of leftovers. But I'm bringing some to my family today. Tonight is the opening of my parents' new restaurant! And we will be surprising them... Yay. :)

My Bra Has Instructions For Use!

My favorite sports bra was made by Calvin Klein. I got it when I was around 15, and I STILL had it until a week ago. Hubby washed it. It was hand-wash only.

Anyway, I was quite bummed, but then I realized that it's not really that big of a deal. I'll just go get another one. Cool thing was: the store I went to had almost the EXACT same one I bought eight years ago. Woohoo!

So... I'm checking out my new bra this morning, and I decide that I should glance at the washing instructions. BUT... they're aren't any. AND it's made in Israel. I've never seen anything that has said, "Made in Israel," but it's irrelevant in this story.

So... there's only one tag, and no instructions. I'm like... "Okay, what the heck do I do?" So after staring at the tag for a while, I notice that there are little pictures on it. But these pictures... DO.NOT.HELP.

Am I stupid? I didn't *think* I was stupid. But they are very silly pictures. There is a small set of waves with a "30" under it, a triangle, a circle, another circle with a dot in it (surrounded by a square), and a mouse with an "X" over it.

Okay, it's probably not *supposed* to be a mouse, but it looks like one so we'll say it is for the sake of argument. And there are two sets of pictures... one for US/Canada and one for Europe because washing instructions (or instructions for use, maybe?!) for this bra apparently differ by country.

I came to the conclusion that if companies are going to change from the universal standard, "Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. No iron." or "Hand wash. Line dry." to silly little pictures... then companies (or at least Calvin Klein) really need to include a key. :-)

Since they didn't, I'm just going to use my best judgment. Since these pictures apparently don't show any signs of being related to anything made by Maytag, I'm guessing that they're simply "Instructions for Use." So here's the key for Calvin Klein sports bras (just in case you decide to purchase one):

Picture: small set of waves with #30
Meaning: You can wear this bra to the beach if you are over the age of 30. If you're 29, you'll just have to wear a bathing suit like everybody else.

Picture: a circle
Meaning: You can use this bra even if you don't have nipples.

Picture: a circle with a dot in the middle (inside a square)
Meaning: You can wear this bra even if you like to draw squares around your breasts.

Picture: triangle
Meaning: You can wear this bra in a teepee if you'd like.

Picture: a mouse with an "X" over it
Meaning: Don't let a mouse eat your bra.

I'm SURE that's what Calvin Klein meant by those pictures. I mean, what else could they mean?

*emmett* ~ who will just hand wash and line dry the bra... just to be safe. She'll also be sure to keep it away from mice...

VOTE... But Not For Bush or Kerry...

I'm going to join the masses today and say...

VOTE!

However... I will not join the masses in saying, "Will you vote for Bush or Kerry?" Yes, there *are* more than two candidates. And yes, I *will* vote for one of them. Okay, I already voted. I voted for Cobb. He's cool. :)

Next time, research ALL the candidates and THEN vote. It's much more fun. And you're "so much more cooler" when somebody asks you who you voted for, and you can say a name that person has never heard of. Makes you feel very smart and political. So go ahead next time and do that... even if it's only to make you look smart. ;-)

*emmett* ~ who is celebrating her 4-year anniversary today... for *being* with her husband Jeremy. (He's the best!) Only 52 shopping days left until our 2nd wedding anniversary, oh yeah... and Christmas Day. :-)

Need the Sex?

I was on a message board today, and somebody needed help choosing a name for a character she was creating. This other poster replied:

"I have some ideas, but I need the sex first."

I seriously laughed SO hard! Because everyone knows that the best ideas come right after sex, and it's much easier to relay those ideas if you just had some. ;-) Tee hee. Don't mind me. I'm silly.

*emmett* ~ whose mind is usually *not* in the gutter...

Granny, Your Balls Are Showing.

I was at the mall the other day, and I saw this little old lady pushing a walker. Now, I've seen lots of walkers in my day. I even used one when I broke both of my legs, and just by these two things... I know they've been around a while.

Have *you* seen one recently? The front two legs have wheels on the ends. And the back two legs? Do you know what is attached to *those*? Tennis balls! Yes, you read that correctly. Tennis balls. As in, "Grab me one of those, Venus! No... not that one off Granny's walker! Grab me one that doesn't have a walker leg stuck in it!"

I've been seeing these for several years now. And at first, I was like... "Hmm... the thingies must have fallen off, and they're using tennis balls as pushing devices. How creative! *Some*body has a sense of ingenuity!"

But now? you would think that "walker-making" companies would have come up with something by now that has the same function. You know... come up with a neat *doo-hickey-thing* rather than something that makes you think, "What happened, Granny?! Did you fall off the bleachers... and into a tennis match?"

Seriously people! We can send satellites to Mars, and we can make Kitchen Aid in 21 different colors, but we can't come up with a piece that fits on the bottom of a walker? I mean... that fuzzy, chartreuse ball is cute and all, but not at all classy. ;-)

Or maybe it just so happens that all the old people I see are former tennis players, and they just wanted a way to *spruce* up their walker to be more personalized. That's got to be it! ;-)

*emmett* ~ who is just glad she doesn't need a walker anymore :)

*Photo credit unknown.

The Internet is Dumb... Sometimes...

Well, I had a nice little (but really not-so little) story to share, but my internet is being very stupid lately, and it won't let me post more than 8 lines or something like that. And I don't really feel like posting like 3 different entries to get ONE point across so I'll just wait until Jeremy fixes it. I better end this note now. It may be too long already.

Take care, Monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who thinks the internet is dumb... sometimes...

p.s. I guess it worked... but barely...

Frost and Free Food.

This morning, we had our first frost. Not only that, but I could actually *see* my breath! Yay! That means it's cold.

*emmett* ~ who missed the cold and snow oh-so-much and is really getting excited for winter...

p.s. Today 90 pounds of gluten-free food were delivered to my doorstep... FREE! Gosh, frost and free food in one day! This is my lucky day! :)

Mmmm... Milkshakes...

I have a craving for a vanilla milkshake, and it's only 9 am. Just thought you'd want to know...

*emmett* ~ who really wish she had some vanilla ice cream right now...

p.s. Happy birthday today to 1996 Olympic Gymnastics team member Dominique Moceanu. Also happy birthday to my friend Casey Stewart, who likes to "check out" Dominique Moceanu. :)

December 1st... Home Free! Or Are You?

You know what confuses me? I saw this ad (probably for theweatherchannel.com or something similar) that said:

"Hurricane season is from now until November 30th!"

Okay... so... I don't know about the weather people that you know, but all the ones I have known don't know it's going to rain until their basement has flooded. During Hurricane Ivan, they were like, "It's going to hit Louisiana first!" And it destroyed Alabama!

So... okay... these must be Super-Powered-Weather-People knowing the EXACT day that hurricane season is over. What if there is a hurricane on December 1st? Is it no longer a hurricane? Do they just call it a "scary-ass storm" then?

"Yes, Bill, now that hurricane season is over, 'Scary-Ass Storm Zephaniah' is on its way to Florida... or what's left of it. This will be a bad one, but I'm sure glad hurricane season is over! Phew!"

Or maybe if a hurricane is arriving on December 1st, they just say, "Sorry, Hurricane! Time's up! Hurricane season is overrrrr! Boo-yah! Get your butt back to where you came from because there is no way you're going to go all Hurricane Jeanne on our butts over here! HA!" Yeah... maybe...

I mean, poor Florida. I wish I lived closer so I can donate some stuff. I mean, we don't have much ourselves (not even furniture!), but hey... we can donate hugs. :-) I always have plenty of those.

Anywho... I wish these Super-Weather-People would come to Rhode Island. This morning it was raining so I wanted to see what's in store for the rest of the week. I turn on the news...

"A little bit of rain today on the island." No... ya think?! Is that what that stuff is? I just thought somebody was holding up a really big fan over at the shore. Uh-huh. Okay.

*emmett* ~ who is *so* glad she doesn't live in Florida or states nearby. God bless you guys. :-)

p.s. I went to elementary school in California, and I've never been to Maryland. But... it's possible Mrs. Carol Hilton could have lived in Maryland. She's an older woman. I'm just sayin'...

I'm Grown Up Now!

I feel like an *Official Married Adult* now. (I mean... as opposed to what I have been for the past year and nine months...) And why do I feel like an Official Married Adult?

We purchased our first washer and dryer! Well, "technically" we charged it on our Home Depot card, but still... Woohoo! Like a real family! We don't have to collect quarters anymore like poor college students! I feel so grown up. :)

That is all.

*emmett* ~ whose husband was so excited about the new washer and dryer, he stayed up until 3:00 am doing all the dirty laundry he could find... while Emmett was fast asleep...

p.s. My husband is kinda strange like that.

Do You Live in a Big Titty?

My best friend Hanna gave her final speech in one of her classes yesterday. She came to a part in her speech where she wanted to say town or city. She was deciding which one to say when she came out with "titty"! LOL. Titty. Hanna said "titty" during class. *sigh* Too funny.

*emmett* ~ who is still laughing about titty... tee hee... titty...

p.s. ha ha ha... she said "titty"!

Grapefruit Take Over.

Grapefruit is my new favorite fruit. I mean, I hadn't had one in like... umm... years or something. Then I saw this neato-frito grapefruit knife that I just *had to have*. And what's a grapefruit knife without grapefruit?

So... I've been eating lots of grapefruit lately. It has taken over first place which was previously held by the banana. Now, don't get me wrong... I still love me my bananas, but Mmmm... that grapefruit... the taste seems new to me. Fresh. Sweet. Yummy.

I do feel sort of bad for the banana though. As I was eating my grapefruit yesterday, the bunch of bananas stared sadly at me. I tried to avoid looking at them, but I couldn't help it. They hold a special place in my heart.

So yeah, this morning, I had a banana for breakfast. And he was happy. That is all.

*emmett* ~ who still really loves grapefruit

Crap Water.

Did I mention yet that our tap water tastes like hydrogen peroxide? And believe me... I know what *that* crap tastes like!

Our tap water is so disgusting that after I brush my teeth, I feel like I need to brush my teeth again to get the nasty taste and smell out. But I can't because, like I said, it tastes like skunk pee.

That's all.

*emmett* ~ who is now going to try to get that taste out of her mouth...

I'm Back!

Well... we made it to Rhode Island (and the photo above is our new home [the door on the right] on base housing).

We left home on July 29th, and we got to our house on August 16th. Fourteen days of that was spent IN THE CAR! Yes, FOURTEEN DAYS! But... we're still sane and still married. :) LOL. No... we actually had a wonderful time. Ruby and Amber (the puppies) were so good! They didn't bark or cry once in the car. They were perfect.

Well, I have LOTS to tell you guys and gals because SO much happened in the month and a half I was gone. But I'll do that later. Okay... I'll tell you now. You don't have to twist my arm.

Jeremy and I turned 23 on July 30th! Hooray! (Yes, we have the same birthday.) :)

My sister got married! (Photo of me and Shaina with our two cousins, Carol and Lilly.)

The next photo is of Shaina's best friend (the one who adopted Octavius!), Shaina and me... laughing hysterically as we take a photo of us all flexing. We had SO much fun together! We were all in gymnastics together... totally The Three Musketeers growing up, so it was so fun to be all together again. :-)

My sister's pregnant with another girl! (But not twins this time... tee hee...)

My parents are moving to New England from Colorado!

My parents bought a restaurant in Vermont yesterday!

I'm coaching gymnastics again! (WOOHOO!)

I was offered the head-coaching position for the Middletown High School gymnastics team! (This in addition to my other coaching job.)

I FINALLY decided on a career path!

I'm going to be a registered dietician!

Okay... so... I think that's about it. Well, there's probably lots more, but I'll let all you little monkeys know when they come to me.

Take care. Good to be back...

*emmett* ~ who really loves living on this island...

And the Last of Worm.

Okay so I'm taking a break from packing. This is so very boring and tedious. Oh... maybe I should turn on some music. Yeah... well... I will when I'm finished with this. Anywho...

I thought I'd finish the rest of Diary of a Worm since I won't be updating for a while. So... here it is. (Thought bubbles from the characters and my comments are in parentheses.) Enjoy.

"April 15:

I forgot my lunch today. I got so hungry that I ate my homework. (Another little boy worm has a message from his mom saying, "Eat ALL your trash. XX. Mom" Tee hee.)

My teacher made me write "I will not eat my homework" ten times.

When I was finished, I ate that too.

April 20:

I snuck up on some kids in the park today. They didn't hear me coming.

I wiggled up right between them, and they SCREAMED! (They also ran away.)

I love when they do that.

May 1:

Grandpa taught us that good manners are very important.

So today I said "good morning" to ghe first ant I saw.

"Good morning!" There were 600 more of them in line. "Good morning. Good morning. Good morning How ya doin'? Good morning. Nice to see you. Howdy. Good morning..."

I stood there all day.

May 8:

Had the worst nightmare last night--

... giant birds playing hopscotch.

Mom says I have to stop eating so much garbage right before I go to bed. (He sleeps in a lipton tea bag box! So cute...)

May 15:

I got into a fight with Spider today. He told me you need legs to be cool. Then he ran. I couldn't keep up. Maybe he's right.

May 16:

I made Spider laugh so hard, he fell out of his tree. "THUD" Who needs legs?

May 28:

Last night I went to the school dance. You put your head in. You put your head out. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about.

That's all we could do.

June 5:

Today we made macaroni necklaces in art class. (Easel says: 1. Put head in macaroni. 2. Wiggle. 3. Squirm. 4. Stretch.)

I brought mine home, and we ate it for dinner. Dad said, "You're very talented."

June 15:

My older sister thinks she's so pretty. I told her that no matter how much time she spends looking in the mirror, her face will always look just like her rear end.

Spider thought that was really funny.

Mom did not.

July 4:

When I grow up, I want to be a Secret Service agent. Spider says I will have to be very careful because the president might step on me by mistake.

"It's a dangerous job," I told him. "But someone's got to do it."

July 28:

Three things I don't like about being a worm: 1. I can't chew gum. 2. I can't have a dog. (He has books called "Digging: A History" , "Soil Through the Ages", "My Casting Journal", "Knight Crawlers" and "Compost 101") 3. All that homework.

July 29:

Three good things about being a worm: 1. I never have to go the dentist. Dr. D. Kay says, "No cavities... no teeth either." 2. I never get in trouble for tracking mud through the house. 3. I never have to take a bath. Mom says, "Who's my grubby little boy?"

August 1:

It's not always easy being a worm. We're very small, and sometimes people forget that we're even here.

But, like Mom always says, the earth never forgets we're here."

THE END.

Cool story, huh?! Yeah... it's a classic. Have fun, Monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who will be back on before you know it...

Moving to Rhode Island!

I'll be 23 in two days! Woohoo!

Okay... I haven't updated in two weeks, but we're moving on the 30th (also Jeremy's and my birthday! Yay!), and I'm super busy.

So... that said... this will most likely be my last entry for maybe a month. Ewww... I hate that. Oh well. I'll try to update in a couple weeks... if we have internet at the time.

You all have some fun without me. ;-) Bye monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who will miss reading all the diaries...

p.s. Octavius will be going to live with my sister's best friend in California! Yay! A home. :-) And look how cute and healthy he looks now! :-D

Octavius, the ER and New Shoes!

I got to ride in an ambulance yesterday! Yay! I also got a tour of the emergency room. Fun! ;-) LOL.

Yes, I had an asthma attack yesterday while I was shopping for new shoes. (It must have been the high price that caused me to have the attack! ;-) ) Merrells *are* the BEST.SHOES.EVER. though... barnone! I feel like I'm walking on a piece of heaven. These are now my fifth pair of Merrells (all different styles, of course). Yay! And now I have navy-colored shoes! Woohoo!

But about my asthma... I'm fine now. Not to worry. A bit coughy and weak, but nonetheless, peachy as usual. :)

Okay... so yeah... last Monday I go out into my backyard, and there is a kitten out there! He's an older kitten (3-4 months old), and he looked so cute and small. He was also soaking wet! I live right behind the pool so I figured some dumbass (excuse my French due to my frustration) decided it would be fun and exciting to toss a kitten in the pool repeatedly and then drop it into my backyard. But... Emmett to the rescue!

I went door to door to find his home, but had no luck. A girl though told me the whole story (she could see the pool from her window). Sheesh! My next-door neighbors need to be castrated!

Anywho...

I called the building manager and left a message, and a woman called back the next morning. It went like this:

Hispanic woman: Yes, I get your message about found kitten.

Me: Yes, I found one in my backyard. Has anybody called saying they lost one?

Hispanic woman: No.

Me: (bummed out) Oh... well, if anybody calls, I have him here at my house.

Hispanic woman: What color is he?

Me: He's white.

Hispanic woman: Does he have brown ears and brown tail?

Me: YES! Well, orange ears and tail, but yes!

Hispanic woman: (passively) Oh... that's mine. (giggle)

... silence...

Me: Okay... ummm... he had been thrown in the pool, but I'm taking good care of him. I dried him off, and he slept with us, and my puppies love him! And don't worry because I got him food and a litter box.

Hispanic woman: Yes, he's housetrained.

Me: I know... that's why I got him a litterbox. So... what's his name?

Hispanic woman: Well, we just got him. My brother just gave him to me because he didn't want him. He used to have a collar.

Me: (dumbfounded by the fact that she told me a useless piece of info like... "He used to have a collar") Okay...

Hispanic woman: So... I haven't really given him name yet, but my son want to call him Delicious!

Me: Delicious? Are you serious? Umm... that's silly. I'm calling him Octavius, for now, because it's a nice big and strong name! And I like that name. So as I was saying, he was thrown in the pool by my neighbors.

Hispanic woman: The pool? That's bad. That's like... mean. That's like animal... animal... cruel... ty.

Me: Yes, it is. Why was he outside?

Hispanic woman: Well, he does not get along with my chihuahua so I put the cat out on the back porch, and he just like... took off!

Me: Yes, cats will do that if you let them out. You'll have to keep him as an inside cat if you don't want him to get hurt again.

Hispanic woman: yeah...

Me: So when are you going to come get him?

Hispanic woman: Well, I suppose... I can just... come and get him in at my lunchbreak.

Me: Okay, I'll be waiting. Thanks. See you then.

This woman has now had eight lunchbreaks since that conversation, and I have yet to have a knock on my door or a telephone call from anybody regarding this sweet little kitty. So... it's safe to say that this poor kitty was abandoned, tossed outside, torchered by means of the pool, found by me, and abandoned by said woman. Poor little Octavius.

I am taking good care of him. I first wanted to keep him, but then I pictured us driving 3500 miles with two puppies and a kitten in the car. Does not sound like fun to me. Plus, since I had this bad asthma attack yesterday, I should probably not surround myself with any sort of "trigger." Ruby and Amber don't shed so I know they're not the problem.

I'm bummed about giving him away though. He's so sweet, and he LOVES to cuddle. Ruby loves him. She gives him kisses, plays with him, cuddles with him and even uses him as a pillow. Amber is more the motherly type. She'll sleep next to him and won't let him out of her sight. She makes sure he doesn't get into things. I'm sad to take him away from them, but I'm sure they'll be fine. :-)

So... as of right now, I'm looking for a home for him. I can't justify just taking him to the Humane Society. I know though that if I do take him there, they do F.B.I. background checks and make people jump through flaming hoops in order to get an animal from them. ;-) This makes me worry less, but I'd like to give him to somebody I *know*. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

For now... I'll just keep him away from my face while I sleep. I know he needs to be off my bed, but he LOVES my bed, and he loves to cuddle. How to say no to that little cute face?! I usually just push him over to Jeremy's side or lay him next to Ruby and Amber.

He's a cutie-patootie for sure. I'll keep you all posted. This is enough for today, Monkeys. You take care.

*emmett* ~ who loves herself some puppies and kitties...

Do You Even *Need* a Hairnet?!

My birthday is in 18 days! Woohoo! Now on to more pressing matters...

I just opened my front door and saw a guy with a shaved head wearing a hairnet. That was strange. That is all.

*emmett* ~ who will write more later. :)

p.s. I found a kitty in my backyard. I named him Octavius. I'll tell you more about him soon. He just farted. It smells.

You Call This News?! And Some Worm.

My birthday is in 29 days! Woohoo! And on to more pressing matters...

Sometimes when I wake up in America, I think I'm in some kind of cheesy movie. For example, I wake up this morning and the top four headlines are:

"Saddam calls Bush 'Criminal'" (and he calls you a psycho, Saddam! What's it to ya?!)

"Scott Peterson liked sex talk." (Doesn't everybody?! ;-) )

"Eminem's ex-wife is in jail." (Again?!)

"Mom pelts Chuck E. Cheese mascot." (I'm not really interested in reading about a red-neck wedding reception.)

I kid you not! *Those* were the headlines for today. Whatever happened to pressing matters? Like... how's Mary-Kate's therapy going? How much money did Spiderman 2 rake in last night? And when is the date for J-Lo's next divorce?

I don't know, People. News these days is more like lunchroom gossip. Oh well. At least it gives us a nice laugh, right?!

And some more from Worm:

"April 4:

Fishing season started today. We all dug deeper.

Dad(as shovel digs into the ground): Did you guys hear something?

April 10:

It rained all night, and the ground was soaked. We spent the entire day on the sidewalk.

Hopscotch is a very dangerous game."

*emmett* ~ who had some honeydew melon for breakfast... and thought it was very sweet

p.s. Happy birthday today to my late Aunt Patrice and the late Princess Diana. :-)

More of Worm and a Stunning Dress.

Diary of a Worm - Day 2

"March 29:

Today I tried to teach Spider how to dig. First of all his legs got stuck.

Spider: I think I've twisted one of my ankles.

Then he swallowed a bunch of dirt.

Worm: I give up!

Tomorrow he's going to teach me how to walk upside down.

April 1:

Worms cannot walk upside down."

I just love that book. Tee hee.

In other news, I'm looking for bridesmaid dresses for myself and the two other bridesmaids for my sister's wedding.

While searching on eBay, I found this "stunning" dress. Green. Poofy. Hideous. Had the word "stunning" in the item title. Mmmmm... stunning. Not exactly the word I'd use for it. That's got to be one of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen in my life. Even uglier than the bridesmaid dress I had to wear to my aunt's wedding. And that, my friends, was bad! Thank God I have a sister with taste. :)

*emmett* ~ who actually thinks she found the perfect dress... but dear God, it does not look like *that* one :)

2nd One For Today, But I Love Pudding.

I bought some pudding at the grocery store today. I forgot how much I love pudding.

That is all.

*emmett* ~ who loves pudding

Diary of a Worm.

I bought the BEST book today! No seriously, this is way better than that Harry Potter stuff that people seem to enjoy so much. So you want to know what it is? It's called Diary of a Worm by Doreen Cronin.

Seriously... it's hysterical! Sure it's a children's book, but you need to run to the bookstore or library and read it (it's fairly short). And if you're too lazy to do that (I would be... LOL), maybe I'll post a page per day. The stuff that I put in these: [ ] are little talking/thinking bubbles done by the characters of the book. :) So here's today's:

"March 20

Mom says there are three things I should always remember:

1. The earth gives us everything we need.

2. When we dig tunnels, we help take care of the earth. [Must make tunnel -- help earth breathe!]

3. Never bother Daddy when he's eating the newspaper. [CHOMP!]"

That's a pretty cute first page... but it gets better. I know you're holding your breath just waiting for tomorrow. I *know* you can't wait! But good things come to those who wait patiently. :)

*emmett* ~ who loves her new book and actually paid FULL price for it! (She never pays full price for anything... especially books. LOL.)

2nd One For Today, but I Had to Share...

I really want some biscuits. That is all.

*emmett* ~ who really wants some biscuits...

I Don't Think There is Such Thing as an "Easy Job."

Okay, so a few weeks ago, I got a job. I babysit a puppy (Shiba-Inu). I know what you're all saying, "Awww, how cute!" "Wow, what a sweet job!" "Girl, you've got it easy!" Well, I'm just here to tell you... YOU'RE ALL WRONG. LOL. I mean... just think about it. If it was so easy, he wouldn't need to be puppy-sat in the first place.

Okay, this dog is like SUPER hyper. I know all puppies are hyper at first, but this puppy is like Tazmanian-Devil-on-speed hyper! I really can't handle that.

He picks on little Ruby too, which makes me very sad. I'm constantly saying, "Fox! No!" "Fox! Don't do that!" "Fox! Stop!" Maybe he'd act like a good puppy if I used his real name. Yes? Tee hee... okay, his name is Rocky, but I like the name Fox. :) I do call him Rocky though. I just would *like* to call him Fox. ;-)

But... when you're a pet sitter, you don't get to just go around changing the pets' names because you don't like the name that the owner gave. What's that about? I mean... *I'm* the one watching him twelve hours a day, shouldn't I get to call him what I'd like? NOOOOO! Oh well. Rocky's fine... I suppose... ;-)

So yeah, it's not easy, and don't even think I'm being a wimp. I'm not. :)

I suppose the job would be a *bit* easier if I didn't have Ruby and Amber here. He likes to pick on them. But they are my *babies*!! Actually, Amber and Rocky have been playing lately. That's cool. She opens a can of puppy-whoop-ass if he gets too postal on her... especially if he picks on little Ruby... Amber really wails on him then. That's pretty sweet. My puppies are awesome.

So yeah... next time you think that having three puppies in your house (one in constant need of Ritalin) is "so fun": think again. That's all, little monkeys. :)

*emmett* ~ who really does enjoy her job... and gets paid pretty well too...

A Day with the Bliss Family is Pure... Bliss.

I used to babysit for a family with seven children. I met them nine years ago... when there was only five of them (and their youngest was nine months old). Now they range in age from 4 to 15. I got to see them on Friday, and it was super fun. They said some pretty funny things. Here's a conversation we had:

Elizabeth (age 13): Sam, go put on jeans because we're going to the boardwalk, and you can't wear nice clothes!

Sam (age 7): I LIKE these pants, and I'm not changing!

Katairena (age 12): Come on, Sam! Please?

Me: Yeah, Sam, it won't be fun if you're all hot in those clothes.

Sam: I'm not wearing jeans! I didn't even bring jeans!

Barrie-Rose (age 10): Well, just go take those off and put some other ones on!

Elizabeth: Yeah! I'll give you a quarter?

Sam: (puts hands on hips) How about two dollars!

Elizabeth: Okay, how about fifty cents?

Sam: A dollar!

Elizabeth: no way!

Sam: Okay... then you each give me a quarter, and that will make a dollar.

(We all agree, and he goes to change. A little while later, the youngest sibling comes up to us after Sam must have showed her what he'd gotten.)

Collette (age 4): Hey! I'm wearing jeans! Where's *my* dollar?

We all laugh hysterically.

Me: Good one, Collette!

Collette: (puts her hands on her hips) I'm being serious!

We all laugh again. Tee hee. Kids are so sweet. I'll miss them so much when I leave. :-(

*emmett* ~ who loves these kids more than anything :)

The Forgetful Husband.

I've had bronchitis for a week now. Not fun. I told Jeremy he needed to take care of me, so when he got home on Thursday night, it went like this.

Hubby: Hi Honey! How are you feeling?

Me: Still sick.

Hubby: Awww... poor thing. *hug* Can I get you anything?

Me: That would be great! I would love some burritos.

Hubby: Burritos! Yum! I'll be back.

... goes down to kitchen, and I hear some cooking going on...

Five minutes later...

He's back upstairs holding a cheese omelet in his hands.

Me: Is that for you?

Hubby: Yeah! It's a cheese, turkey and tomato omelet! Doesn't it look tasty?

Me: Ummm... yeah, it does. But... ummm... where are my burritos?

Hubby: Burritos? What burritos?

Me: My burritos. Remember? You went downstairs to make them.

Hubby: Oh... you said you'd really love some, but I didn't think you actually wanted some. Or maybe I did. Sorry... I forget. Uhh... do you still want burritos?

Me: Ummm... yeah. I do. Please could you make me some?

Hubby: Well, I don't know how.

Me: Honey, you worked at *Taco Bell* for a year in high school... I think you can manage.

Hubby: Okay! I'll be right back! Love you! (jumps, skips and does a little dance while going downstairs)

Me: Thank you! I love you too! (I shout down the stairs)

... he goes down to the kitchen, and I hear some cooking going on...

Two minutes later...

He's back upstairs holding a plate with two burritos in his hands.

Me: Oh, Honey! Thank you! You're the best!

Hubby: Oh, you're welcome! I LOVE YOU! *kiss*

Yeah, sure my hubby is forgetful... but he still is cute and wonderful. :)

*emmett* ~ who thinks this is a very funny story :)

Christmas in the Backyard!

Living between two families who have children is quite amusing. I mean, how cool is it to wake up every morning and find new stuff in your backyard? I mean, it's like every day is Christmas! So far I've found a glow-in-the-dark bouncy ball that looks like an eyeball, a baby doll, a blanket, a headband, a rubber ducky, a tennis ball... and today? An army man! It's so cool!

The funny thing is... they've only asked for one thing back: the tennis ball. They were throwing it on my roof one day and letting it roll back down to them. I was sick in bed so it was really getting on my nerves hearing this THUD... roll, roll, roll... THUD... roll, roll, roll.

Just as I was about to go downstairs and politely ask them to go play with the damn ball on somebody else's roof, I hear the ball rolling in the distance then I hear them all say, "Oh no!" A minute later... my doorbell rang. HA! I figured the ball went into *my* backyard, and they were asking for it back. No such luck, kiddos! Do you think I'm going to give you your ball back so you can keep me from napping? Pshaw! In your next life! So... I smiled and went to sleep... and got them their ball when I woke up. Awww... the power. :)

*emmett* ~ who yes, gives the children back all their toys once she finds them. Okay, not the eyeball bouncy ball because my hubby REALLY liked that. LOL.

Swim Naked! Dad's Visiting! (but not at the same time!)

Yesterday I saw a personalized license plate that said "SWM NKD"... I'm guessing that to be "Swim Naked," so I laughed. Tee hee.

*sigh* Yeah... that's funny. They must *really* like to swim naked. Well, they like it enough to share it with every car/person that drives/parks/walks behind them. That probably means they like swimming naked. :-)

Anyhoo... today I'm VERY excited because my dad just called to let me know that he's driving here tomorrow! Yay! From Colorado to California... to see me! His daughter! His *favorite* daughter! No, really... I am. :-) I take great pride in that fact. ;-)

He's driving here to bring me my *stuff*. My sister says that I don't need 80% of it. She said it's childhood toys, clothes from the 80s, and a bunch of old school projects. That should be fun to go through. LOL.

He *is* bringing my collector's dolls though, and I'm happy about that. I miss them. :) Jeremy's not looking forward to that. He thinks they look like dead babies. Well, he can just deal. Yes, deal! I bought them before we were married so there! Nothing he can do. :)

I'm pretty sure that's all I have to report. My two anthropology classes are now over, and I have nothing to do. I will miss anthro. *sigh* I love to learn.

*emmett* ~ who just remembered something else she wanted to tell you... but will wait until tomorrow...

Rscheearch at Cmabrgde Uinervtisy.

Okay... so this is my 2nd post for today, but I had to share this. I saw this on a message board I post at...

"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrgde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprometnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."

This is the coolest thing ever! Sure... yeah... I'm easily amused, but I didn't read that any slower than I normally read. I thought that was just too cool.

*emmett* ~ who hoped you enjoyed her 2nd post of the day :)

Advice From Toddlers and the Joys of Being an Adult.

Have I ever told you that my two-year-old twin nieces (the Twinkies) are geniuses? Well, they are. Sure they've eaten mealworms in the past, but still... they're brilliant!

The other day, I was talking to my sister about whether or not I should have children, and she turns to Alaura (aka Twinkie #1) and asks her, "Should Ani have children?" And Alaura answers, "No... just dogs!"

See what'd I tell ya! Genius! Pure Genius. LOL.

Some days I have a hard time deciding whether or not I *like* being an adult. Then I think back to when I was a child...

I remember that I wanted to wash my hair with Pantene, and I wanted to use Caress body soap. My parents always said no though. They would never buy me Pantene *or* Caress. They said, "When you are an adult, you can buy the expensive soaps, but when you live in this house, you wash your hair with Suave and your body with Safeguard."

So now? Now that I'm an adult? Guess what I have in my shower? YES! Pantene and Caress. Awww... and it's so so nice. Well, actually, now I'm switching *off* Pantene and *on* to Neutrogena because I'm starting to like that better. But guess what? I can do that now! And do you know why? Because I'm an adult.

And that is one reason why I like being an adult. :)

*emmett* ~ who will let you know when she thinks of other reasons... it may take a while though... ;)

Thirsty? Have Some Hydrogen Peroxide!

Did you know that if you have a sore throat, gargling hydrogen peroxide *really* helps? Granted, this is only if you can get past the taste and feeling of having rotten food in the back of your throat and you don't mind that gag reflex kicking in, but if you can get past those, you're on your way to a healthy throat! Not to mention, at least you know your gag reflex *works*!.

But... a little advice for you: Water it down just a tad and put a *small* amount in your mouth at a time. And *if* you just *happen* to swallow a big gulp of it... let me save you a call to poison control...

"It may make you throw up, but this is okay. Drink lots of fluids, and try to relax. It may burn for a few hours, but just remember... *some* doctors are prescribing swallowing hydrogen peroxide for emphysema patients these days so it may actually *help* you even though it feels like it's burning a hole right through your esophagus."

At least this is what poison control told my husband last night when he called after I took a huge gulp of hydrogen peroxide... stupid. Stupid. STUPID! And might a I add... it was an... A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T! Really! Who would drink that crap *willingly*? Not I. Definitely not I.

*emmett* ~ whose mouth now tastes like hydrogen peroxide every time she coughs. eww. Eww. EWW!

Where's A New Motorized Wheelchair When You Need One?

The other day as I was driving home, I saw a homeless man in a motorized wheelchair. It was so old and torn up that he had a black trash bag covering his seat! And all his belongings were in grocery bags on the sides and on his lap. I started to cry.

And it was right then and there that I wished I had a brand new motorized wheelchair in the back of my car. If I had, I would have given it to him without a thought. Instead, I had to keep on driving home. This world makes me sad sometimes.

*emmett* ~ who really didn't have anything *witty* to say, but thought she'd share this. :)

Red with Hawaiian Flowers.

I'm almost positive that I had something witty to say about my puppies, but it has slipped my mind. Oh well.

I went to Target today. Woohoo! I got some conditioner, body wash, carpet cleaner, throat drops and a new alarm clock for Jeremy (my hubby for those of you who don't know). Okay, yeah... telling you that... that was boring. Anywho...

While I was in the Target parking lot, I saw this lady driving a little red car.

Her license plate frame was red with Hawaiian flowers.

Her seat covers? red with Hawaiian flowers.

And her little antenna ornament thingie? I'll give you one guess! ... YEAH! You're right! Red with Hawaiian flowers. (Man, you're good!)

So yeah, after seeing that lady, I came up with two conclusions about her. She likes red, and she likes Hawaiian flowers. That is all. :)

*emmett* ~ who yes, has no life... go ahead, rub it in, whydon'tya! tee hee...

Don't Make That Face!

You know that old wives' tale (or that phrase parents say to us to freak us out?!): "Don't make that face, or it will stay that way!"

Well, boy do I have news for you! I kid you not... it's the truth! Actual. Truth. I'm not trying to be funny here, People! The other day, something made me go "EEK!" (a foot flying at your face makes you go "EEK" too, right?!). So I made the "EEK!-face." You know... when you flatten your bottom lip so you look like a chimpanzee? And your neck muscles get all tight, and your veins look like they're popping out?! (Tee hee.)

Anywho... yeah, when I made that face, all the muscles in my face, throat and neck... they froze! I mean, they were so tight that if there had been a lump of coal in my throat (I'm not exactly sure *why* there would have been a lump of coal in my throat, but you know... *if*...), I would have a pretty fancy diamond right about now.

Thank God I was able to get my lips back to normal. But my muscles? Uh-uh... they weren't budging. It was the strangest feeling EVER! I had *never* felt anything like *that* in my life! It was hard to swallow, and I couldn't talk at all, which for me is a travesty in itself. :-P

So yeah, I laid down for a while until my muscles relaxed. It took a few hours, but they finally went back to normal. Sheesh! Who'da thunk that what they've been telling us for years and years is actually *true*!

I still can't believe it, and I'm sure many people will never believe me as long as I tell this story. But *I* know it's true, and now I can really tell my kids, "Don't make that face or it will stay that way!... I know! It happened to me!"

*emmett* ~ who will NEVER make the "EEK!-face" again as long as she lives... or at least not a hardcore "EEK!-face". :)

Californians and Their Cars... Again.

So the other day I was walking out of the grocery store and a Toyota Matrix was driving my way. Since I have a Toyota myself (not a Matrix, mind you), I notice them fairly well. So I'm like, "Hey, a Matrix! Cool!"

Then it gets closer... and you know where the Toyota decal is on the front?... well, it was missing. And in its place was the BMW decal! Yeah... as in, that blue and white checked beemer emblem! And on the back of the car? The beemer emblem... again! And they took off the decal that says "Matrix."

I was stunned. I just stood there in the middle of the parking lot... stunned. Then this dude walks past me and sees the car... he looks stunned as well. And he says, "*That's* a beemer?!" We both start laughing. I look back at the car. "It's a Matrix!" I said to him. "A Toyota Matrix! They cheated!!!" We both started laughing again.

Yes, Californians will do *anything* to drive a BMW... even if that means buying a $15,000 Toyota and slapping a BMW decal on there. Pfff... Californians will never cease to amaze me. Never. Ever.

*emmett* ~ who is just fine and dandy with her Toyota with its Toyota decal thankyouverymuch!

What Ever Happened to Toilets?

The other day while I was making dinner, I peeked out my back door because there were a million little boys playing out behind my fence. I wanted to make sure they weren't doing anything that would get them yelled at. Tee hee... good thing I was looking out for them!

As I was looking outside, I noticed one of the little boys (about 5 or 6), Martin (pronounced the Spanish way, mar-TEEN), popping a squat in the bushes... twenty feet behind my back fence!

First I was like... "Oh... he has to go pee and can't make it home. And awww... how sweet and respectful... his mom taught him to squat and pee instead of pee standing up."

Then I realized... this kid was *not* peeing. Yup, he was taking a dump behind my fence... and behind my neighbors' fences (as a matter of fact, closer to their fences than mine)! I don't know what they teach children in Mexico, but here in the States... umm... we use *toilets*. Pretty bad, huh?! Ummm... yeah... it gets worse...

So then, he's just squatting there probably thinking, "Darn it! I should have brought a magazine and a roll of toilet paper!" He then proceeds to wipe his bottom... with his fingers!

Yup you read correctly... then he looks at it and wipes it in the grass in front of him. After doing this about three times, a group of boys starts walking in his direction. I was hoping they wouldn't notice him and keep on walking. No such luck. They start laughing and pointing.

UGH... how traumatic for poor little Marty McPooper. The boys then called over Martin's older brother. He smiles and walks to his little brother and hits him upside the head (not hard) as if to say, "You idiot! Tell me you need to take a dump, and I'll take you to the dumpster or something."

I then decided it was time for me to get involved. First, I yelled at the boys who were still laughing at him. I told them to "keep on walkin'." The oldest boy (probably 12) says, "... but he's my cousin!" Oh... then by all means, go ahead and make fun of him. I didn't realize you were *family*... pfff... keep on walkin', Junior. So... he apologized (to my surprise) and kept walking.

Me: one. Rude little dork: zero! ha ha... yeah!

So... I offer Martin and his brother toilet paper, a grocery bag and my sink to was his hands (there was no way I was going to have him running around the neighborhood with those poopy little fingers)! They kindly accepted my offers. I would have offered him my bathroom *before* he took a dump, but it looked like I was a little too late to stop him. But... I did tell him that *next time*, he could use my bathroom. Pretty exciting day. LOL.

*emmett* ~ who didn't realize that moving to a new place would provide so much lasting entertainment! ;-)

p.s. Last night, I met Dr. Jane Goodall!! She's the 'chimpanzee lady'. No, not Sigourney Weaver in 'Gorillas in the Mist'... that was Dian Fossey, the 'gorilla lady'. Anyway, it was a dream come true for me, and she was amazing! If you have the chance, I would highly recommend seeing her speak. She's not to be missed! :)

Smells Gassy...

I'm supposed to go to the mall today to pay my Victoria's Secret credit card bill, but... I'm dreading it. Yes, I'm actually *dreading* going to the mall. Something is seriously wrong with me.

I have to drive to Santa Rosa to do this. It doesn't bother me *that* much that it's 25 minutes away. I used to drive over an hour for the mall when I lived in a small town in Colorado. No biggie. It's just these stinkin' gas prices! Wholly buckets, they are so high!

Oh, oh! And there is this one street by the college, one block with THREE gas stations. This isn't even the strange part. The 1st gas station sells gas for $2.02, the 2nd gas station sells gas for $2.14 and the 3rd gas station sells gas for $2.25! And, might I re-iterate, they're all on the same block! Yeah, it's nuts. They're not crappy stations either. They're the three biggest ones here: Chevron, Mobil and Shell. Gee... I can buy gas for either $2.02 or $2.25... I wonder *which* one I'll choose. Pfff...

If you live outside of CA, and you have decent gas prices, consider yourself blessed. For those of you fellow Californians... I feel your pain, Ninjas.

*emmett* ~ who is now trying to limit her driving time in order to avoid spending $100 a month on gas...

Sleep-Walking?

Happy Easter! I'm not really doing anything "Easter-ly" today except maybe looking for a part-time job, but that's not really "Easter-ly," it's just something I'm planning on doing today.

Anywho... Hubby is at work until tomorrow night... *sniff* so I'm home alone with Ruby and Amber, which is still nice. :) I may go visit him though. Oh wait! I have to go visit him if I want him to do the laundry (his only household chore). LOL. It's in *my* car, and he wants to do it on base. Oh, the laundry, I mean! Not me or my car! I mean... I'm sure he'd want to do me, but... oh, never mind... This is a G-rated diary! Sheesh.

Oh! The other night at like three in the morning, hubby gets out of bed. He's walking up and down the stairs, flipping on lights and opening and closing drawers. I'm thinking, "Is he sleep-walking? Or did he just remember something he needs to do at 3:00 a.m.?"

So... I'm like, "Honey? What are you doing?"

And he answers, "Why?"... Why?! WHY?! WHY?!"

Umm... okay... because it's perfectly *normal* to be up in the middle of the night walking up and down the stairs, flipping on lights and opening drawers.

I decided to humor him and curve my sarcasm. "Why? Well... because I care, Honey. I want to help you find what you need." :) Yeah... I'm a good wife. :) He ended up finding what he needed: campho-phenique for a canker-sore he had on the inside of his lip. Poor guy. Still a funny story though. :)

*emmett* ~ who has *not* been sleeping well lately so ordered a new pillow... but then took the puppies to the park yesterday and so wasn't here when they delivered it so has to wait until MONDAY! Ugh... more sleepless nights. Break out the sleeping pills...

The Salad Bar.

Guess what? I'm not writing about cars! Tee hee...

Anyway... I just wanted to let all of you know that I really like salad bars. And whenever I go, I always get the same salad: lettuce, diced ham, bacon, cucumbers, diced tomatoes, green peppers and cheese... no dressing. This is VERY tasty.

Marie Callender's (a restaurant here on the west-coast) has the best salad bar. When I worked there for a year, I ate lots of salads, and they were super tasty! :)

They even had nachos on their salad bar! Well... okay, not *actually* nachos. But they had the best chips (they make themselves), and then they have grated cheese. So... I get a plate and put chips, cheese, chips, cheese, chips, cheese... then I ask the server if he/she could kindly nuke it for me. Oh, so tasty! I've only seen these chips on ONE salad bar. ONE! And that one is in Buena Park, CA... currently seven hours from me. *sigh* Oh well.

So... whenever someone wants to go out to lunch with me, I want to go to Marie Callender's so I can get that yummy salad with a side of fries. (They also have very tasty fries!) So anyway... this one time I went, and when I went to put the diced ham on, it looked kinda funny. So... I decided to taste it.

Well, it was *not* ham. Know what it was? BOLOGNA! Yeah... as in Oscar Mayer! Now... please... WHO... on.God's.Green.Earth. would put BOLOGNA on a salad?! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

I just figured they ran out of ham. But bologna? Ohmylordalmighty! Sheesh! What about turkey or chicken? Aren't those suitable alternatives? Oh! I guess it could have been Spam?! Wait a second. What the heck am I thinking? Spam is even more inconceivable then bologna! Okay... I guess it probably was not Spam. But bologna? Oh, no... just... ewww... no. So yeah... I just left that off my salad.

*sigh* It didn't taste the same. Oh well. Maybe next time...

*emmett* ~ who now hasn't been to Marie Callender's in a VERY long time. Oh wait... I just went a few weeks ago. But I didn't have the salad bar...

Northern California vs. Southern California... and Cars.

So... yeah... more about cars. :) I'm not really obsessed with cars. I just see an awful lot of them in California... so this is what I'm choosing to write about. :)

You know what's really weird? People getting stickers custom-made for their cars. I mean, I can understand one that says your name or some little cult you belong to. But what's the deal with the stickers that say what kind of car it is? I mean, I often see these HUGE stickers.... I'm talking a foot high by four feet long... that say "CIVIC." Like the word that says the model of the car (that the factory puts on) isn't big enough. Are these people's names Civic? Do they belong to a Civic *Club*? I just don't get it... Hmmm... maybe it's a California thing.

Speaking of Californians. Let me tell you something about Northern Californians.... there are two kinds of people who live in Northern California: Those who were born and raised here and didn't want to move to Southern California because it's so busy and crazy down there... and those who lived in Southern California, but it got way too busy and crazy for them so they bring their own busy and crazy habits up here and try to create a *new* busy and crazy place without even really realizing it. The reason I know this is because I'm on the road quite a bit so I can tell by the way people drive.

"That dude just cut me off!" Yeah, the dude who cut the other person off: he would be from Southern California. The person pointing it out: Northern Californian. "Hurry up, Dude! You're going two miles *under* the speed limit!" Yeah... the person who needs to hurry up: Northern Californian. The person yelling at him: Southern Californian. Do you see? Those silly So-Cal people bring all their 'rush-rush-rush' mentalities with them, and because they're rushing, it causes the very stress-LESS Nor-Cal people to be rushed as well... therefore creating a whole new busy and crazy atmosphere like the one they're trying to avoid. Yup... I got this California place all figured out.

So which am I, you ask? Well, I'm a whole new breed. I was born and raised in Southern California and wanted desperately to get out of the business and craziness of it all so... I moved to Colorado, where everyone is nice and kind and friendly and they drive nice and safely. AND THEN I went back to Southern California and remembered how busy and crazy it was so.... I came to Northern California to join the people who don't want to be all rushed, but then I realized that the people *are* rushed because they are either former Southern Californians or native Northern Californians who are trying to adapt to the former Southern Californian way of life and so... we're moving to Rhode Island. I do, however, still drive the speed limit. Okay... five over the speed limit. :)

*emmett* ~ who follows all other traffic laws and only speeds to keep up with the flow of traffic... meaning the crazy former Southern Calfornians. :)

Car Butts.

I like to stare at the back of people's cars while idle (or driving slowly) behind them because it passes the time. I suppose you could say I check out their butts. :)

Some have expired plates because, well let's face it, who wants to pay over $300 to renew your plates in California?! Other cars have amusing (or non-amusing) bumper stickers. This one Ford Taurus had a sticker on the back that said, "You haven't been lei'd until you've been lei'd in Hawaii." Tee hee... that made me giggle. I looked up to see who would put something like that on the back of their car, and it was a set of grandparents! Ewww... "They're old!" I said to my husband. Then I look back down at the bumper to examine it for more bumper stickers. My eye caught their license plate frame. It said, "I'm not old." Ha ha ha. How ironic...

On my way to school yesterday, I was driving in back of a Volvo station wagon. Like usual, I examine the back of their car. No funny or stupid stickers. No cheesy license plate frame. But... their tags *were* expired. Now, I see these often. If I were a cop, I'd be reelin' 'em in! But this one, by far, takes the cake! Usually I see plates that are only one year past due. I once saw a truck with plates two years past due, but he wasn't driving it so I figured that was okay. But this Volvo? Umm... I considered taking down the license plate number or at least following it and taking a picture! LOL. Their tags said June 1998! 1998!! 19-friggin'-98! It's almost June 2004! This means their tags should say June 2005 in two months. Wholly-buckets, Batman, they owe the DMV an @$$-load of money!

When I bought my first car, my plates expired three months later. I didn't even notice until I came out of a movie theatre one night and walked back to my parked car. A cop had given me a ticket! Yes, he was patrolling the movie theatre parking lot for expired license plate tags. Craziness! Anyway, I didn't pay the ticket. I just paid for the renewal. They said that was fine. Minnesota DMVs are nice. :)

I have other neat stories to tell, but those will have to wait until tomorrow. I have to write a 5-page paper about chimpanzees. Yay! This should be fun. I love those little guys. :)

*emmett* ~ who only has one bumper sticker (much to her dismay) on the back of her car. It says, "Coastie Wife"... I suppose that one is okay. :)

National Stupid People Day

Well, it's April Fool's Day, but actually, yesterday was supposed to be April Fool's Day because this year was a Leap Year. And if you think with this logic, yesterday makes perfect sense. Yesterday in my life was... "National Stupid People Day". And *I* was not the only one celebrating this wretched holiday!

Stupid-Person Story #1: I go to school and I get my test back (which bumped my grade from an 87% to an "A"! Woohoo! I rock!). Anyway... the teacher was going over some test questions, and she said, "All animals have some sort of 'Play'?... True or False?" Okay... so yes, that questions is false because only mammals have some sort of 'Play', and I got that correct. Anyhow... the guy next to me says to me... "What?! No way! All animals play!" And I was like... "Andy, little lizards do *not* play. King Cobras... they don't play either!" And Andy says, "They're not animals!" LOL. Okay... this was so stupid, I couldn't even argue with him! I was just like... "Uhh... Andy? Shut up. Just shut up. If you're 19 and sitting in a college anthropology class and don't know this... well... sheesh." He finally realized that he was being way stupid. Yeah... I agree.

Stupid-Person Story #2: I went to the mall after school, and as I was driving home, there was a sign that said "Freeway, Left" so... naturally, when the light turned green, I turned left. BUT... I failed to actually *LOOK* to the left. If I had, I would have noticed that I was turning onto an opposite traffic one-way street. And guess who was the first car at that red light in the one-way lane? Yeah... a police car! He laughed. Yeah... he actually smiled and shook his head probably thinking, "This idiot doesn't know what the heck she's doing! Heh, heh, heh." I screamed. I threw my hands up in the air and actually screamed, "I don't know where I'm going! AHHH!" I stopped the car right in front of the cop, put my car in reverse, and continued to go where I was supposed to. Thank God there were no other cars so I didn't get in an accident. (The cop must have felt very sorry for me because he didn't even pull me over!)THEN... I finally get on the right street in the right direction, and I notice... I'm driving on the wrong side of the road! AHH! Again... I am *so* glad that there are no cars. I pull back into my lane and turn left to the safety of the freeway. Phew. Yeah... needless to say, that was really stupid. BUT... I can't say it was all my fault. I mean, the SIGN told me to turn left! So I did! Sheesh. :\

Stupid-Person Story #3: I go to pick up my husband from work. One of the guys he works with comes out and asks me if I can pick up his wife from the airport on Monday. I tell him, "I can't. I have a cultural anthropology test." And he says, "Huh... uhh... is that the one with Zeus and stuff?" I tried to hold in my laughter. "Uhhh... no. That's *mythology*. Cultural Anthropology studies human cultures." He was just like, "Oh... huh... okay."

So yeah... yesterday was weird. I'd like to stay inside all day today, but I can't. Old Navy is having a huge sale, and I'd like to get there when they open. :) Ciao.

*emmett* ~ who can't wait to get new shorts and flip-flops!

Free Cowboy Hats!

Last week at my college, I went into the ladies' restroom, and there was a sticker on the container holding those toilet seat protector thingies. This sticker said, "FREE cowboy hats! Please take one!" Tee hee. Yeah... that made me laugh.

Then... yesterday I went back into the same stall, and somebody had whited-out the sticker! Huh?! Who does this person think she is? Well, apparently there is a cowboy-hat-hater in our midst. I mean, not that I *love* cowboy hats. They're okay. I've only worn *one* in my whole life, and it's yellow-black zebra print. Pretty sweet! And I wore it to one of the two country concerts I've ever been to. Yeah... that was fun.

So yeah... that's it for now. I'm thinking of getting a job again. I feel like I need to help out with bills... although hubby says I don't need to. He's so sweet! I guess I just would like to pay off our credit cards as soon as possible, you know?! So yeah... I'll keep you posted. :)

*emmett* ~ who totally rocked her physical anthropology exam yesterday! YES!

Naming the New Planetoid.

Well... first off, Happy St. Patty's Day! Kiss me... I'm Irish!

This dude, who works for the water company, had a green shirt on today so, naturally, I was drawn to it. LOL. I just wanted to see what it said. And it said.... "Kiss my ass... I'm Irish." LOL. I thought it was awesome.

And... Did you know that they discovered a new planetoid (apparently it does not 'meet the definition of a planet')? I think it's pretty cool, but it's interesting that we never knew before. I mean, we've been in space for a long time, and you'd think *somebody* would see a large ball 1,100 miles in diameter. But then again, it *is* 8 BILLION miles from earth. :) So anyway, they've decided to name the planet Myurethra to go along with Uranus. Tee hee... get it? Uranus? Myurethra? hahahahaha... okay, just kidding. They named the planet Sedna, after the Inuit goddess who created sea creatures of the arctic. Interesting... at least they didn't name it Caitlin/Katelyn/Caytlin et al. I mean, nice name and all, but with about 40,000 of them being born per year in the U.S.(more than any other name), we have a lot already (no offense to any Caitlins out there). So... that's it for today. Carry on.

*emmett* ~ who will wear green all week in honor of her Irish heritage. :)

A Weird Morning.

It's only 9:55 a.m. and already today is weird!

First off, we were woken up by the fire alarm at 5:30 this morning. We bolted out of bed, grabbed the puppies and rushed outside. We were the only people out there. Weird! I mean... there was also no fire... but still... if there *was* a fire, those people would be burnt to a crisp. Don't they have fire alarms in Mexico? Oh! Maybe the fire alarm was in English, and that's why they didn't understand it. What do fire alarms sound like in Spanish? Hmmm...

Anyway, we called the fire department, and they came over to tell us that the alarm probably went off due to a water surge... whatever that means. So the alarm was turned off, and I was happy.

When we went back inside, I took my husband's temperature because he came home last night with a 104 degree fever. This morning it was 97.9 degrees. Weird...

To make things stranger for this morning, I go to the living room; and I see small, shiny things on the carpet. I get down on my hands and knees and find small circular ones and long thin ones. I'm sitting there with them in my hand thinking, "What the heck is this that the puppies have been chewing on?!" Then... I realize. They ate my wedding tiara. Yep... that's right, my tiara. They must have gotten very rambunctious after we went to sleep, ran into the tall shelf, knocked over the picture frame (which knocked off my small tiara) and chewed it to bits... swallowing most of it. I *did* find two large pieces of it so at least they didn't eat the *whole* thing. That would have been crazy.

Anyway, the tiara was only $2.00 so I'm glad I didn't spend $50.00 on one that my friend wanted me to get. And since it *is* a Disney Princess Dress-up tiara, I'll just get one next time I go to Disneyland (April 1st or 2nd... yay!). :)

See? A strange morning!

*emmett* ~ who is now off to get blood taken... whoopee! Pfff...

I Just LOVE Doggy Products!

We went to Petsmart today to get some doggy treats and some doggy moisturizing shampoo (Ruby's skin is a bit dry). As we were checking out, the cashier looks up and says,

"Oh! Are these for your dog?!"

No lady... they're for me. Who wants Snickers bars when you can have beef n'cheese doggy treats? And that doggy moisturizing shampoo that smells like bugspray? That stuff is far better than that Pantene Pro-V crap! You should see it make my hair all nice and shiny! Pfff...

People's intellect (or lack thereof) will never cease to amaze me. She was a sweet cashier though. :)

*emmett* ~ who laughed herself all the way home to see her puppies

The Sleeping Pill Strikes Again.

I haven't been sleeping very well lately so I took half of a sleeping pill last night. I woke up a bit groggy, but I was like, "Eh... no biggie, I'll just get up anyway and go down to the kitchen."

Well, as of right now, I don't really remember why I turned on the kitchen faucet after breakfast, but all I know is... when I wanted the water off, I flipped off the kitchen light switch. I stood there in the dark thinking, "Why the heck isn't the water turning off?! Damn it! Is something wrong with our plumbing?!" And then... I realized... Yes, Emmett Darling, you're supposed to turn that little thingy next to the spigot: righty-tighty to turn it off. The light switch controls the... *light*.

Yeah... so... ummm... now, I'm going back to sleep to sleep off this sleeping pill. What is it with me and sleeping pills (see THIS)? Sheesh!

*emmett* ~ who noticed last night that those sleeping pills expired three years ago... I think it's safe to say: they have *not* lost their power in their old age.

p.s. I just noticed: That other sleeping pill entry was done on March 10th, and yesterday, when I took my half-of-a-sleeping-pill, it was March 10th... weird

The Sleeping Pill Strikes Again.

I haven't been sleeping very well lately so I took half of a sleeping pill last night. I woke up a bit groggy, but I was like, "Eh... no biggie, I'll just get up anyway and go down to the kitchen."

Well, as of right now, I don't really remember why I turned on the kitchen faucet after breakfast, but all I know is... when I wanted the water off, I flipped off the kitchen light switch. I stood there in the dark thinking, "Why the heck isn't the water turning off?! Damn it! Is something wrong with our plumbing?!" And then... I realized... Yes, Emmett Darling, you're supposed to turn that little thingy next to the spigot: righty-tighty to turn it off. The light switch controls the... *light*.

Yeah... so... ummm... now, I'm going back to sleep to sleep off this sleeping pill. What is it with me and sleeping pills (see THIS)? Sheesh!

*emmett* ~ who noticed last night that those sleeping pills expired three years ago... I think it's safe to say: they have *not* lost their power in their old age.

p.s. I just noticed: That other sleeping pill entry was done on March 10th, and yesterday, when I took my half-of-a-sleeping-pill, it was March 10th... weird how things work out like that. Trippy.

Not Much... But There's eBay!

Wow! Updates two days in a row! I'm on a roll here! Woohoo!

Today was a very strange day. Okay, maybe not that strange to most of you out there, but strange to me because I did lots of stuff. But it will bore you so I won't go into how I drove the 30 minutes to college, only to see that my class was cancelled; then decided to go and pay my Victoria's Secret bill (and bought a new very cute pink bra); tried on LOTS of clothes at a very cute store (but didn't buy any); went to Target (bought TOO MUCH stuff); then came home and took the puppies out for a walk. But you don't want to hear about all that because like I said, my life is pretty boring these days... not much going on.

And I must say that Northern California weather is CRAZY! Last week it was raining gorillas, and this week it is in the 80s! The puppies woke me up at 3:30 a.m. so they could go potty, and it was warm outside! Weird! And then today... I was driving at 8:00 a.m., and it was 65 degrees. Two hours later, it's 85 degrees! At 10:00 a.m.! HOT for this time of year! So yeah... weird weather.

And once again the wonders of ebay never cease to amaze me. I saw this one on savecraig's diary, and man, whoever this dude is, he's a genius! After I read THIS (link used to lead to a coke can that opened itself), I was searching my house for things *I* could sell for hundreds of dollars. :) Carry on Kiddos.

*emmett* ~ who changed her diaryland salutation-name because this was an old nickname of mine, and I was reminded of it recently. I miss being called Emmett... *sniff*

p.s. I get so excited every time I look at my page and see my cute little monkey! I love monkeys! But, no, I don't fling poo... okay I do, but only sometimes...

Is that a... crab?!

The other night when I was walking the puppies, we walked past the pool, and I swear there was a giant crab at the bottom! I stood there and stared at it for the longest time, but then I convinced myself it had to be leaves in an odd position because there is no way we have crabs here in this apartment complex... especially not one this size! It was HUGE! Like... the kind you eat!

Anyhow, today while I was walking the puppies, I walked past the pool, and somebody had thrown a baby doll in the garbage can in the pool area. I peeked through the bars into the trash to get a closer look, and lo and behold... a GIANT CRAB!! I could barely believe my eyes! There *had* been a crab in the pool! I suppose, somebody had bought one for dinner, and somebody else didn't like that idea too much.

Or maybe... somebody had a pet crab, and they wanted to see if chlorine was bad for it.

Or maybe... it was a bad crab, and they put it in the pool on purpose! Like that one time when my sister's hamster bit my dad, and he forced it to have a little 'boating accident' in the pool.

Or maybe... well, I'm sure there's lots of possiblities. And now I'll always wonder why there was a giant crab in my swimming pool. Weird!

*emmett* ~ who also noticed that the pool area reeked of seafood... so you never know, there could be more!

p.s. I finally got the picture on my page! Yay! Thanks to my extraordinarily talented and sexy hubby!

100 Things

1. My husband and I were born on the exact same day: July 30, 1981. He is older by 9.5 hours.

2. I have Celiac Disease.

3. Because of my disease, I can’t eat wheat. This means no bread, pasta, cookies, cereal, salad dressings, crackers, etc… and I’m sane.

4. I used to go to the movies once a week. Now I'd rather wait til they come to DVD.

5. I rent 3-6 movies a week.

6. I don’t like condiments.

7. My favorite thing to hear my mom say: “I’m proud of you!”

8. My favorite thing to hear my dad say: “I love you!”

9. My sister has twin girls (Alaura and Brenna). They were the eighth set born into our family.

10. I have one older brother, Dack, and one younger sister, Shaina.

11. For the first fifteen years of my life, I never once slept with a stuffed animal.

12. Since my fifteenth birthday (my aunt died), I have slept with a bear every single night.

13. My teddy bear is a 25” fluffy polar bear named Isabelle.

14. I love to clean and organize.

15. I’m a good bowler.

16. I sleep on a Tempur-Pedic pillow, and I love it.

17. I can’t sleep unless all sides of my sheets are tucked in.

18. I hate sleeping naked… so I don’t.

19. Victoria’s Secret is my only splurge.

20. I’m addicted to vanilla chapstick. Particularly, Vanilla Chap-et.

21. Two of my nieces are named after me. (Reysa and Brenna Rey)

22. When I was younger, my dad drowned one of my hamsters… on purpose.

23. I was attacked by a dog, leaving me with only small scars on both shoulders.

24. I broke both of my legs… at the same time.

25. Bad spelling and bad grammar are my two biggest pet peeves.

26. On January 27, 1995, I cried so hard that I threw up my hot chocolate. I can’t even smell it without feeling queasy.

27. Every year since 1995, at least one friend or family member of mine has died.

28. 28 is my favorite number.

29. I was the captain of my high school gymnastics team.

30. I’m a perfectionist… obsessively.

31. I have asthma.

32. I can trace my family back twelve generations, and I’m still searching for more.

33. I was my husband’s first kiss.

34. We were married on Christmas Day.

35. We were both virgins when we got married.

36. I didn’t have a wedding ring for the first seven months we were married.

37. I had my teacher, Mrs. Carol Hilton, for both 2nd grade and 6th grade.

38. I love to read.

39. I love math.

40. I know the US states and capitals in alphabetical order.

41. I know all the countries of the world, by continent.

42. I love to memorize.

43. My favorite author is Robert Munsch. He writes children’s books.

44. I bought my first car (with my own money) at age 18, and I paid it in full.

45. My most prized possession is a gold and jade ring from Korea. My grandpa brought it back for my aunt when she was 10, and she gave it to me the week before she died. I only take my jade ring off to take a shower.

46. My husband took my last name.

47. “The Ring” was the scariest movie I’ve ever seen.

48. I’m paranoid.

49. I’ve kept a journal since I was seven-years-old.

50. My favorite thing to do is stand on my hands.

51. I can hold a handstand for several minutes.

52. I have a baby name fetish.

53. My favorite name of all time (for a boy) is Giovanni, but I have a German last name so it would sound silly.

54. I can type 75 words per minute.

55. Between kindergarten and college, I got perfect attendance only one year: my senior year of high school.

56. I was Student Body Secretary during my senior year of high school.

57. Coaching gymnastics was my best job ever.

58. My favorite colors are yellow, green and gray.

59. I only wear one brand of shoes: Merrell. And they’re heavenly.

60. My favorite animal is a bonobo (aka pygmy chimpanzee).

61. At the zoo, I love the reptile house… and the primates, of course.

62. I have never had a male-celebrity’s picture hanging on my wall. (no females either)

63. I only drink orange juice, hot tea and water. Everything else is yucky.

64. I have over 70 pairs of underwear.

65. I hate carrying a purse.

66. I can’t fall asleep unless I’m in my pajamas and in a bed.

67. I love my pajamas. They’re what I always want to wear… until the end of time.

68. When I was nine-years-old, my best friend died of Cystic Fibrosis.

69. It is a pet peeve of mine when people pronounce Shih-Tzu like “Shit-zoo.” It’s pronounced “Sheed-zoo!” Okay!

70. My sister gave me my cat while I was watching the Sydney Olympics. I named him Sydney.

71. I love to water-ski.

72. I was a varsity swimmer and springboard diver in college.

73. I have never fallen asleep watching TV, reading or doing homework.

74. I don’t hate anybody.

75. I have never seen Titanic or any of the Star Wars movies. Seeing these movies now would be an end to a pretty impressive streak.

76. I want to be a registered dietician so I can help others with their gluten-free diets.

77. I used to hate guinea pigs. Now I love guinea pigs, but I am terribly allergic.

78. My favorite foods are french fries, peanut butter and ice cream.

79. I firmly believe that if you want to live in the US, you should learn our language, that being English!

80. When I was younger, I wanted eight children. Now… I’m not even sure I want one.

81. I love just about every animal.

82. I don’t like bats or rats.

83. I’m not afraid of spiders or bees.

84. The only thing I’m afraid of is being afraid. I hate being afraid.

85. I carry a water bottle with me wherever I go.

86. I saved my sister from drowning when she was two-years-old.

87. When I was 12, I only weighed 63 pounds.

88. When I was 13, I cracked my sternum.

89. This one time…I kicked my sister and broke all my toes.

90. I love to cook.

91. Before I go on vacation, my house has to be immaculately spotless.

92. I love the smell of skunks.

93. I worked for the Disneyland Resort, and I could go any time I liked… which I loved and fully took advantage of.

94. I collect pins and buttons.

95. I love dolls… so I collect them. My husband thinks they look like dead babies.

96. The beach is my favorite place in the world.

97. I’m an optimist, and pessimistic people bother me.

98. I had to wear uniforms in junior high, and I loved it.

99. I like to have at least one clock in each room of my house.

100. I really enjoy life!

*emmett* ~ who really enjoyed making this list. :)

The Travelers and The Muppets.

Well, since I'm no longer busy, I thought I'd write an entry. And why am I no longer busy, you ask? Because the economy is rather poopy right now. Plus, I'm far too sickly these days to have a job... which is just not fair to employers. That said, I have a cool story.

My mom called me on Sunday to say that a pregnant woman, her husband and their teen-aged daughter came into church announcing that their car had broken down, they didn't have any money, and the nice policeman had put them up at a hotel in town. "But it didn't have heat! And we're in Colorado, and we froze!" And my mom piped up saying, "Oh! You poor things! We have a bed & breakfast! Come stay at our inn!" And the pastor said, "And we'll give you some money! Not much because we don't have much ourselves, but nonetheless, we'll give you some!"

So... the dude walks to the B&B, while the prego-wife and daughter are driven to their hotel to pack the things. My mom goes to check on them, and the prego-wife tells my mom she needs her husband's help. So... my mom drives back to the B&B to get the husband.

As they pull up to the hotel, the prego-wife is yelling at the daugther to "Go away! Get out of here! Go back home! You can't stay with us anymore, blah, blah, blah..." So my mom tells the girl to the get in her car. They drive off, leaving the prego-wife and husband.

THEN the girl tells my mom, it's all a scam! They're con-artists who travel from church to church begging for money! They picked up this poor girl in Nevada and conned her too! And the wife isn't even pregnant!

So yeah... my mom put the young girl on a bus back to Nevada, and the police were called.

People are sick! There are some real sickos out there! Grrr... makes me want to lock myself in my house, but I won't because I really like the outdoors. Anyway, an interesting story of con-artists that went to a town of only 750 people... I thought you all would like to hear. I laughed. Tee hee...

In other news, Craig had THIS (link used to be something about Muppets?!) in his diary this morning, and I laughed so hard I cried. Yes, I know I need a life. But listen to it, it's awesome!

*emmett* ~ who is more easily amused when she's sitting in her house all day. :)

p.s. Just in case you didn't notice... I got a new template! Green is my favorite color so I thought I'd get this one. I still have to figure out the whole 'picture' thing. But it's coming, and it's sweet! Carry on.

Cold Beer and Toddler Retaliation

Gosh... I've been super busy! I'm coaching gymnastics again though, which is awesome.

Every day I pass this little general store, and painted on the outside of the building is: "Coldest Beer in Town... Consistently!" ... like their refrigerators are colder than ours? And last time I checked... if you keep *any* drink in the fridge all the time, it's consistently cold. Or did they mean they are consistently named the "Coldest Beer in Town"? Is there an award given for this? Who gives it? Hmmm... that was pretty interesting.

Also, "More cute things" brought to you by my twin nieces...

Brenna had scratched Alaura's face so she was in timeout for a few minutes. When Brenna got out of timeout, I guess Alaura was still upset because she started kicking Brenna. My sister butted in and said, "Alaura stop kicking your sister!"

Alaura stops and mumbles... "okay..." And then she pipes up, "Can I hit her?!"

I was laughing so hard! These kids are two, and already they're witty. Gotta love 'em.

Take care, Kiddies!

*emmett* ~ who misses her so-cute-twin-nieces... *sigh*

The Wonders of eBay.

January 15, 2004 - 9:44 a.m.
The wonders of ebay...

I heard this on the radio today, and I couldn't believe my ears! I had to rush home and take a look for myself. Yup! They were right. Somebody *did* pay money for fast food condiments!!

Yeah... you have to admit. That's pretty darn smart!

*emmett* ~ who will be making trips to several fast food restaurants today to start her collection...