Wednesday, April 17, 2002

A Day in OMH (Our Modern Heritage)

I was fifteen minutes late to class yesterday. But I just happened to sit down as Ireland and another female started chatting about the latest 'gossip'. Our professor interrupted them abruptly saying, "Every minute I have to stop to ask you two to be quiet, that is one more minute we have to stay in class... this is kind of like we're in nursery school!" All I can say is: How true. How true. And also... good for you, Dr. Cowgill!

We have quite the group of individuals in this class. We have one girl who runs her fingers through her hair (pulling apart tangles)... incessantly. Oh! ... there she goes again! Periodically, she'll sort through her hair searching for -- only what I can assume to be split-ends -- and she yanks on them gently. Once they are free from her scalp, she wraps them around her hand. Therefore, by the end of this 75 minute class, there is one giant hairball (in the vague shape of a hand) protruding from her wrist. What does she do with that?

Then there's a boy who must fit the word "procreate" into every class discussion. He must belong to some kind of "word of the semester" club, where he must use this certain word in a sentence every day. He must be the president of that club because he is doing extremely well!

Then there's that cute little brunette, always with her make-up fresh and her petite frame adorned in the latest Abercrombie & Fitch ensemble. For 75 minutes, she is bent over her desk -- maybe doing her best to appear as if she's taking notes or not caring one way or another if the professor notices -- writing a long letter with bubbly letters and dotted i's in the shape of hearts to a boy named Ryan... like we're still in 7th grade. (Maybe I could pass him the note during study hall! *wink* *wink*)

There’s also a blonde boy who sits in the front row. I sit behind him. Now... I contribute to the class often because I’m never without words. About every 5-10 minutes or so, he looks over his shoulder at me. What is he looking at? (I tease him about this. He's a pretty cool guy.) The other students in the class can only be seen as the ones who impatiently stare at their watches. Maybe they have not figured out yet that we are, in fact, in college, and every class is optional. Well, they're only sophomores. Maybe they'll learn in due time. *laugh*

And then there's the professor. One of those ones that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life. One of the ones with that flare and spark. The one with a gleam in her eye whenever she starts to speak. She speaks in a way that is inspiring, on topics that probably wouldn't be if they were spoken by somebody else. Even the fact that my professor has a "favorite euphemism" is inspiring. According to her, it is important to study vocabulary to avoid government manipulation. You 'gotta' love those teachers who make you want to ponder certain elements of society. She finishes the class period with, "That's all I have to say so if you want to leave early, feel free. If not, feel free to stay and 'discuss' for the remaining 30 minutes of class."

Everyone (save three people) gets up and leaves. The ‘hair-pulling’ girl, the ‘staring’ boy, and I don’t move a muscle. We continue to be glued to our seats, our minds wriggling with anticipation as to what intriguing topic our professor will come up with next and what profound effect she’ll have on the way we view it. And those other students… well, they will be forever oblivious of the fact that they had a chance to witness a teacher ‘in action’ who cares about what she’s teaching and why she’s teaching. They missed out on something they may never again have the chance to experience… learning from a teacher who can touch your life… if you are open to it.

*emmett* ~ who continues to crave learning long after classes conducted by Dr. Jane Cowgill... and will miss them deeply next year

Tuesday, April 9, 2002

Rancid Urine

This morning I was walking through my dorm's hallway, and I passed an engaged couple. It could have been my imagination, but I swear that they smelled of rancid urine. It was terrible. But then again, it could have possibly had something to do with the fact that they were standing in front of the bathroom door.

*emmett* ~ who is not too keen on things... or people, for that matter, who smell of rancid anything... especially urine.

Thursday, April 4, 2002

Good Will Hunting Motivation.

It is so strange that whenever I don't feel motivated, I can watch Good Will Hunting and immediately want to do homework for days! Of course, how often do I have time to watch a three-hour movie every time I need motivation?? It's funny how movies can do stuff like that.

*emmett* ~ who should probably watch Good Will Hunting at least once before the year's over for some last-minute motivation... that should keep me going for awhile

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Isn't It Funny?!

Isn't it funny how when you're outside and it's really bright, and then you walk inside, and it gets really dark because your eyes then have to adjust to the light change? And then everything gets pink. Why is that? I mean, why not purple, green, or yellow? It's always pink! All around you, inside your house... it's really dark, but still that pink color. And if you look outside again... the sky... it's pink too!

And speaking of the sky... isn't it funny how when people ask you what color the sky is, you are most inclined to say, "Blue!" when in actuality, most of the time, it isn't even blue! It's gray, black, white, or some shade of the three mixed together. Sometimes it's purple, pink, or orange... and only a few hours out of the day is it actually blue. Funny, isn't it? Makes you think... Hmmm...

*emmett* ~ who has an incredible urge to ditch school the next two days... when she has never ever wanted to ditch ever before in her whole life!

Thursday, March 14, 2002

Shaina's Insight.

Okay, so this one time...

My sister Shaina wrote me this email, and I thought that it was really funny so I thought I'd share it. So here it is. Enjoy.


Well, just so you know. It is hard to sit down and write my older, but not superior, sister. Just as you do, I drag myself out of an enormous pillow (some would like to call a bed) and get dressed. It seems weird to me that I have been dressing myself for about 14 years now and still have not gotten the phrase, "throw whatever’s clean on!" I find dressing a lot deeper than most. Do I wear the pink tank top, with the black sweater? Or the gray T-shirt, with the blue hooded jacket? These are just some of the dilemmas that I face within the first 10 minutes of my day, and don't even get me started on pants! You've got your blue jeans, your cords, drawstrings and flares. THAT'S IT! I give up! I am just going to wear a skirt! How many pairs of shoes go with a skirt? This is the exact thing I am always asking myself. Not many... I am telling you… the people that make dress shoes only think that you will be wearing them for a few hours. I mean, "COME ON!" I want something I can run in, jump up and down in, anything! That's it… tennis shoes! My problem is solved! Leaving me with 10 minutes to put my makeup on, and do something with this hair. Then in a flash, I am out the door… driving 30 minutes through the most boring landscape in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. I could imagine it beautiful the first time ever seeing it, but after seeing the exact same trees… and cows, day, after day, after day. It just does not excite a person anymore. After seeing the meadows and cows slowly pass by, and going a whopping 25mph through town, I arrive at my destination, Work! Where I will spend the next four hours tying Raffia bows on little jars filled with 'runny fruit'! Once and a while getting the pleasure of talking with another person other than myself, or the lady that lives upstairs, who talks incessantly about her 100 lb. dog, she 'so affectionately' refers to as 'bonehead'. Thus ending my day and returning home, seeing the exact same things I saw 4 1/2 hours previous, but this time instead of running from them, I am headed straight for them. At last… home and a bit insane.

(Just a little insight on my life) Love, Shaina

Pretty funny, huh?! Yeah, my sister is quite witty. And she has the cutest babies! She just had twin girls: Alaura and Brenna. And boy are they cute! Have a good night!

*emmett* ~ who loves her sister and can't wait to see her and those cute little twins!

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

Stool Samples in the Freezer.

This one time...

My hall director locked the kitchen because people were stealing food. And I really wanted to put some ice cream in there, but I didn't want it to get stolen so... I put it in a brown paper bag, and I labeled it, "Emmett's Stool Sample." And guess what? Nobody touched it!

And then...

My hall director came to my room and she said, "Emmett, I don't care what you put into our fridge, but for the love of God, don't label it!" I laughed.

*emmett* ~ who is really loving ice cream and chocolate pudding these days

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

A Joke and a Quote.

Wanna hear a joke? Okay... here it is:

What goes clop clop clop... BANG BANG... clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting! Ha ha ha ha.

"Laurie got offended that I used the word 'puke,' but to me, that's what her dinner tasted like." ~Jack Handy

*emmett* ~ who really doesn't have anything interesting to say today

Sunday, March 10, 2002

The Sleeping Pill

This one time...
I was at my sister Shaina's house, and she had a whole bottle of anti-depressants to help her sleep. Well, she said to me, "These pills don't work for me at all! They didn't even faze me! You can have them." Well, when I got home to my house, I decided to take one because I couldn't sleep very well. I figured they were mild so I didn't think it would be a bad idea to take the whole pill... I mean, they are so tiny... like smaller than Tic Tacs! So... I took one. And well, I slept for 29 hours. That's a long time. When I woke up, I had two grilled cheese sandwiches. And they tasted really good!
*emmett* ~ who takes a quarter of a sleeping pill from now on!

Saturday, March 9, 2002

The Meaning of Life on a Curtain Rod.

I think I discovered the meaning of life!

Okay, I was in the shower this afternoon, and there were little droplets of water running down the metal curtain rod, and I could have sworn that they formed the words, "Live" and "Love" I think the word "Jesus" may have been in there too, but I can't really be sure. And maybe the word, "Awesome." Or maybe I'm just dillusional because I'm so hungry. *shrug* Oh well. If my mind plays more tricks on me, I'll let you know.

*emmett* ~ who is very thirsty and would like some apple juice

Friday, March 8, 2002

To Laugh or Not to Laugh... that is the question.

You know what the funniest thing on earth is? Watching someone slip and fall on their butt! Or even their face! Now that's funny too! This may sound mean, but it's really not. It really is the funniest thing ever!

Okay so the other day, I was sitting in the cafeteria eating my dinner, and this baseball dude is walking from the condiments table over to the cereal table, and he slipped (on God only knows what), and he fell smack-dab on his face! I'm dead serious! This dude went flying and did a belly flop on the cafeteria tile! Poor guy though. The whole cafeteria was rolling! I'm laughing so hard right now I can hardly contain myself. *Note: No baseball players were harmed in the process.*

I talked to my mom the other day, and she said that she slipped on the ice outside our house and fell flat on her butt. She was telling me this over the phone, and I laughed hysterically! She said, "Stop laughing! Stop laughing! It's not funny!" And my reply was, "Yes it is!" And I just kept laughing. She said, "That's just what your dad did! He laughed at me! And it wasn't funny!" I felt kind of bad, but I started her laughing too. It's funny to fall on your butt.

And not only do I laugh at... er... I mean WITH other people when they slip and fall on their butts, but I laugh at myself too! I went hiking a few weeks ago, and I slipped on the ice like 10 times throughout my hike. *Note to self... don't go hiking in a cross country skiing course that is paved with ice and snow* But anyway... I was laughing hysterically! Not only is it funny, but it's fun! I LOVE falling on my ass! I never laugh so hard! I mean, it hurts like hell, and I ended up spraining my wrist because I fell so much, and I had to wear a wrist brace, which actually ended up helping me out in bowling because I got a turkey on the 10th frame for the first time in my life, and I thought that was really cool... so... what was I talking about? Oh yeah! Falling on your butt! ... But yeah, it's just so fun! Like my mini-skydive or something... only much safer... well, sort of... and I don't have to wear a parachute or a helmet. Well, I thought I'd just share what I think is the funniest thing on earth.

*emmett* ~ who is very strange because she actually LIKES slipping and falling on her butt. It's just so funny!

Thursday, March 7, 2002

A Man With Dolphin Eyebrows.

Well, yesterday I went on my first college 'field trip'. Funny how I go on my first one in my junior year. Oh well. So we went to two Public Relations Firms... and this was good because now I know exactly what I DON'T want to do. There was the funniest guy at one of them. First of all, he was a hottie! He was dressed very nicely.. of course because we were in a professional setting. But his finger nails were manicured and freshly polished with clear nail polish! And also... his eyebrows were plucked in the shape of dolphins! No, seriously... they were dolphins! He wasn't THAT flaming though. But all my friends thought otherwise. He could be gay. I'm not going to make any assumptions here though. Straight guys get manicures and pluck their eyebrows in the shape of dolphins, don't they?!?!? LOL. :) It was a good day, but I'm glad it's over. I do know now though... that I'd really like to go into some kind of Human Resources or Hospitality or maybe Administration. We'll see what happens.

*emmett* ~ who is a bum because she didn't go to classes today... but then again she wasn't feeling so well so it's okay.

Tuesday, March 5, 2002

Attack of the Evil Ireland

Well, it's Tuesday... again. I seem to dread Tuesdays and Thursdays every week, hoping that next week, they won't be there. But they are! Last semester, I loved Thursdays, but this semester? notsomuch! I just dread walking into 'Our Modern Heritage' and seeing that short little brunette... we will call her... Ireland... you know, to protect the guilty. Ireland's one of those girls you love to hate. And she wouldn't respect our professor if someone paid her... well, maybe. Ireland tells the teacher when class SHOULD be over and that we should go by her own watch because 'that's the REAL time!' Maybe she hasn't yet realized that we're in college. Oh, Lord, give me the strength not to pound her.

Every day, I'm afraid to walk into that classroom. Fearing that one day, I will just snap and beat the living daylights out of Ireland. And everyone will say, "That Emmett.... she was such a nice girl. What happened to her?"

*emmett* ~ who is so incredibly ready for this semester to be over!