Isn't It Funny?!

Isn't it funny how when you're outside and it's really bright, and then you walk inside, and it gets really dark because your eyes then have to adjust to the light change? And then everything gets pink. Why is that? I mean, why not purple, green, or yellow? It's always pink! All around you, inside your house... it's really dark, but still that pink color. And if you look outside again... the sky... it's pink too!

And speaking of the sky... isn't it funny how when people ask you what color the sky is, you are most inclined to say, "Blue!" when in actuality, most of the time, it isn't even blue! It's gray, black, white, or some shade of the three mixed together. Sometimes it's purple, pink, or orange... and only a few hours out of the day is it actually blue. Funny, isn't it? Makes you think... Hmmm...

*emmett* ~ who has an incredible urge to ditch school the next two days... when she has never ever wanted to ditch ever before in her whole life!

Shaina's Insight.

Okay, so this one time...

My sister Shaina wrote me this email, and I thought that it was really funny so I thought I'd share it. So here it is. Enjoy.

Emmett,

Well, just so you know. It is hard to sit down and write my older, but not superior, sister. Just as you do, I drag myself out of an enormous pillow (some would like to call a bed) and get dressed. It seems weird to me that I have been dressing myself for about 14 years now and still have not gotten the phrase, "throw whatever’s clean on!" I find dressing a lot deeper than most. Do I wear the pink tank top, with the black sweater? Or the gray T-shirt, with the blue hooded jacket? These are just some of the dilemmas that I face within the first 10 minutes of my day, and don't even get me started on pants! You've got your blue jeans, your cords, drawstrings and flares. THAT'S IT! I give up! I am just going to wear a skirt! How many pairs of shoes go with a skirt? This is the exact thing I am always asking myself. Not many... I am telling you… the people that make dress shoes only think that you will be wearing them for a few hours. I mean, "COME ON!" I want something I can run in, jump up and down in, anything! That's it… tennis shoes! My problem is solved! Leaving me with 10 minutes to put my makeup on, and do something with this hair. Then in a flash, I am out the door… driving 30 minutes through the most boring landscape in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. I could imagine it beautiful the first time ever seeing it, but after seeing the exact same trees… and cows, day, after day, after day. It just does not excite a person anymore. After seeing the meadows and cows slowly pass by, and going a whopping 25mph through town, I arrive at my destination, Work! Where I will spend the next four hours tying Raffia bows on little jars filled with 'runny fruit'! Once and a while getting the pleasure of talking with another person other than myself, or the lady that lives upstairs, who talks incessantly about her 100 lb. dog, she 'so affectionately' refers to as 'bonehead'. Thus ending my day and returning home, seeing the exact same things I saw 4 1/2 hours previous, but this time instead of running from them, I am headed straight for them. At last… home and a bit insane.

(Just a little insight on my life) Love, Shaina

Pretty funny, huh?! Yeah, my sister is quite witty. And she has the cutest babies! She just had twin girls: Alaura and Brenna. And boy are they cute! Have a good night!

*emmett* ~ who loves her sister and can't wait to see her and those cute little twins!

Stool Samples in the Freezer.

This one time...

My hall director locked the kitchen because people were stealing food. And I really wanted to put some ice cream in there, but I didn't want it to get stolen so... I put it in a brown paper bag, and I labeled it, "Emmett's Stool Sample." And guess what? Nobody touched it!

And then...

My hall director came to my room and she said, "Emmett, I don't care what you put into our fridge, but for the love of God, don't label it!" I laughed.

*emmett* ~ who is really loving ice cream and chocolate pudding these days

A Joke and a Quote.

Wanna hear a joke? Okay... here it is:

What goes clop clop clop... BANG BANG... clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting! Ha ha ha ha.

"Laurie got offended that I used the word 'puke,' but to me, that's what her dinner tasted like." ~Jack Handy

*emmett* ~ who really doesn't have anything interesting to say today

The Sleeping Pill

This one time...
I was at my sister Shaina's house, and she had a whole bottle of anti-depressants to help her sleep. Well, she said to me, "These pills don't work for me at all! They didn't even faze me! You can have them." Well, when I got home to my house, I decided to take one because I couldn't sleep very well. I figured they were mild so I didn't think it would be a bad idea to take the whole pill... I mean, they are so tiny... like smaller than Tic Tacs! So... I took one. And well, I slept for 29 hours. That's a long time. When I woke up, I had two grilled cheese sandwiches. And they tasted really good!
*emmett* ~ who takes a quarter of a sleeping pill from now on!

The Meaning of Life on a Curtain Rod.

I think I discovered the meaning of life!

Okay, I was in the shower this afternoon, and there were little droplets of water running down the metal curtain rod, and I could have sworn that they formed the words, "Live" and "Love" I think the word "Jesus" may have been in there too, but I can't really be sure. And maybe the word, "Awesome." Or maybe I'm just dillusional because I'm so hungry. *shrug* Oh well. If my mind plays more tricks on me, I'll let you know.

*emmett* ~ who is very thirsty and would like some apple juice

To Laugh or Not to Laugh... that is the question.

You know what the funniest thing on earth is? Watching someone slip and fall on their butt! Or even their face! Now that's funny too! This may sound mean, but it's really not. It really is the funniest thing ever!

Okay so the other day, I was sitting in the cafeteria eating my dinner, and this baseball dude is walking from the condiments table over to the cereal table, and he slipped (on God only knows what), and he fell smack-dab on his face! I'm dead serious! This dude went flying and did a belly flop on the cafeteria tile! Poor guy though. The whole cafeteria was rolling! I'm laughing so hard right now I can hardly contain myself. *Note: No baseball players were harmed in the process.*

I talked to my mom the other day, and she said that she slipped on the ice outside our house and fell flat on her butt. She was telling me this over the phone, and I laughed hysterically! She said, "Stop laughing! Stop laughing! It's not funny!" And my reply was, "Yes it is!" And I just kept laughing. She said, "That's just what your dad did! He laughed at me! And it wasn't funny!" I felt kind of bad, but I started her laughing too. It's funny to fall on your butt.

And not only do I laugh at... er... I mean WITH other people when they slip and fall on their butts, but I laugh at myself too! I went hiking a few weeks ago, and I slipped on the ice like 10 times throughout my hike. *Note to self... don't go hiking in a cross country skiing course that is paved with ice and snow* But anyway... I was laughing hysterically! Not only is it funny, but it's fun! I LOVE falling on my ass! I never laugh so hard! I mean, it hurts like hell, and I ended up spraining my wrist because I fell so much, and I had to wear a wrist brace, which actually ended up helping me out in bowling because I got a turkey on the 10th frame for the first time in my life, and I thought that was really cool... so... what was I talking about? Oh yeah! Falling on your butt! ... But yeah, it's just so fun! Like my mini-skydive or something... only much safer... well, sort of... and I don't have to wear a parachute or a helmet. Well, I thought I'd just share what I think is the funniest thing on earth.

*emmett* ~ who is very strange because she actually LIKES slipping and falling on her butt. It's just so funny!

A Man With Dolphin Eyebrows.

Well, yesterday I went on my first college 'field trip'. Funny how I go on my first one in my junior year. Oh well. So we went to two Public Relations Firms... and this was good because now I know exactly what I DON'T want to do. There was the funniest guy at one of them. First of all, he was a hottie! He was dressed very nicely.. of course because we were in a professional setting. But his finger nails were manicured and freshly polished with clear nail polish! And also... his eyebrows were plucked in the shape of dolphins! No, seriously... they were dolphins! He wasn't THAT flaming though. But all my friends thought otherwise. He could be gay. I'm not going to make any assumptions here though. Straight guys get manicures and pluck their eyebrows in the shape of dolphins, don't they?!?!? LOL. :) It was a good day, but I'm glad it's over. I do know now though... that I'd really like to go into some kind of Human Resources or Hospitality or maybe Administration. We'll see what happens.

*emmett* ~ who is a bum because she didn't go to classes today... but then again she wasn't feeling so well so it's okay.

Attack of the Evil Ireland

Well, it's Tuesday... again. I seem to dread Tuesdays and Thursdays every week, hoping that next week, they won't be there. But they are! Last semester, I loved Thursdays, but this semester? notsomuch! I just dread walking into 'Our Modern Heritage' and seeing that short little brunette... we will call her... Ireland... you know, to protect the guilty. Ireland's one of those girls you love to hate. And she wouldn't respect our professor if someone paid her... well, maybe. Ireland tells the teacher when class SHOULD be over and that we should go by her own watch because 'that's the REAL time!' Maybe she hasn't yet realized that we're in college. Oh, Lord, give me the strength not to pound her.

Every day, I'm afraid to walk into that classroom. Fearing that one day, I will just snap and beat the living daylights out of Ireland. And everyone will say, "That Emmett.... she was such a nice girl. What happened to her?"

*emmett* ~ who is so incredibly ready for this semester to be over!