Dealing.

I'm about to be real and kinda depressing. Please no judging. :-)

For those of you who don't know, we lost the baby this week (I was nearly 12 weeks when I started bleeding two weeks ago today). My body is still going through the process, and it bothers me that it makes every day a reminder that I won't be having a baby in six months. I can't wait for that part to be over. I'm ready to move on and look back on this like it was a bad dream.

We are trying to stay optimistic for the future though. The pregnancy ended due to a blighted ovum, so, for some reason, that actually makes me feel better about the whole thing... hopeful that a baby will be in our future. :-)

I have waves of being positive and optimistic and then waves of wanting to sit on the sofa and watch Friends and eat gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (which I'm now currently out of) all day long. I've heard that through the grieving process, both are good for healing. :-)

I'm angry and sad, and I just don't feel like *me* these days. I have three Studio Calico kits sitting right next to me, and I can't even touch them. My motivation... it's just gone. I'm praying that will get better soon too. :-)

I think I'm getting a bit better. Today, I took a shower in the *morning* and got halfway dressed... pajama bottoms and slippers with a nice top and sweater. I even put on earrings and a bit of makeup. :-) I think every day will get better. I'm hoping, praying that it does. *sigh*

Hmm... can't think of anything else to say. And just talking about it makes me feel more down, so I'm going to go watch Friends now. :-)

And here are two layouts I did a couple weeks ago, but never posted. Both are mostly SEI and American Crafts. :-)

Thanks for stopping by today. I'm not sure when I'll be back with the remainder of my scrap room photos, but I'm hoping soon.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Just keep swimming...