Confessing.

Dear Grapefruit,

I have a confession...

... sometimes, I forget about you. I pick up some Empire apples (and Honeycrisp... or Fuji if those two are not in season), bananas, kiwi every now and then, white flesh peaches, raspberries, strawberries and even some Clementines. 

I pass you up.

And then one day, out of nowhere, a coworker makes a comment about how Texas has the best Grapefruit in the world. Or I see "Grapefruit Juice" in a restaurant menu. Or you catch my eye in the grocery store. And well, Grapefruit, my heart melts at the mere thought of you.

Your juice, your yummy fruit, the way I revert back to a child-like state when I eat you with my hands instead of being all prim and grabbing my "Grapefruit Spoon."

So I take a bite, and I remember... that you are my very favorite. No fruit tastes better than you. All fruits pale in comparison to you. The bananas go brown. The peaches get wrinkly. The limes become hard as rocks. 

Because you, Grapefruit, are all I want. You're all I need.

I'm so sorry I neglect you sometimes when I know deep down that you are my very favorite. Could you please forgive me? I sure hope so. I just love you way too much to ever hurt your feelings.

Love always,

*reyanna*

p.s. Please, please do not tell Banana.

Motivating.

I haven't been able to scrap since *before* CHA. Sheesh. Sure, I've been a *bit* busy, but it was more like the fact that I couldn't get motivated in light of recent events. Nothing like a deadline for Craft Critique to nip that in the bud! 

So Studio Calico's February kit was all kinds of fun. I decided to make a necklace with Tim Holtz Fragments, and the new SC papers were SO perfect! They have this AWESOME  sheet of paper that has fortune cookie fortunes on one side, so I found a fun one "It is a sunny day" to have on one side of my necklace. How cool is that?

I really love how it turned out. And I was stoked to use SC papers to line the carpet and give my dress-form (from Creative Imaginations) a nice resting place. :D

Then I decided to use one of the adorable bingo pieces (from the K&Company die cut package) to adorn the back of another Fragment...

I need to make more cards. They really are so fun. :-)

And I've been wanting to scrap this photo of myself with my nieces... for... a LONG time. Almost two years... seriously. But I've never had the *right* papers. And then Method Playground totally inspired me to use five patterned papers (from different manufacturers), so I came up with this...

And really... all the credit for the patterned-paper-choosing must go to the wonderfully talented April and Scarlet over at Studio Calico. Seriously... this is *why* I'm a part of a kit club (*that* kit club). I can't scrap exclusively Basic Grey *forever* (though I wouldn't complain *too* much...), and I've never been very good at the whole "coordinating/matching" thing. Seriously, ask my sister. She picked out my clothes until I was 18 years old. :-p (SO not kidding here.)

In other news... I went hiking yesterday. I was supposed to be in a Meetup group, but traffic was SO crazy, and I was too late to catch them. And I was not going to settle for driving 45 minutes and then just go home... so I went hiking by myself. Still very nice and wonderful. Only got lost once, but I quickly found my way... just in time too because it got dark within minutes of making it to my car. Phew. :-p

Oh! And the other day at work, I was putting together a few boxes, and this mother with her two daughters walks toward me. And I overhear her saying, "Look, Girls! This girl gets to *play* at her job! She gets to put together boxes! How fun!" And she was being TOTALLY.SERIOUS. 

And you know what? She was SO right. I *was* having SO much fun. I love un-nesting our plastic boxes. LOL. It actually is so much fun for me. (Uh-huh... I know. I'm silly. Carry on.) I ended up having a conversation with her and telling her how much I'm in love with my job... how at the end of my shift, I just don't want to leave. LOL. I ended up giving her a recruitment card. She would be so fun to work with... she really "gets" it. 

Speaking of The Container Store, I totally need to highlight (here on my blog) my favorite products. And ironically, some of my favorite products seem very silly to me. And I can't imagine who would buy them... or why. But I just love that we carry them. LOL. A container that holds TWENTY FOUR lipsticks?! Seriously?! Ladies! Come on! Fess up. WHO out there has 24 lipsticks?! 

To be continued...

Altering.

I've been meaning to post this for a while, and the fabulous Wendy Smedley reminded me with her post today. (Wendy, could you please remind me to post pics of us too... LOL. Note to self: POST PICS FROM CHA!)

While in San Antonio one week, I decided to check Craigslist for any cool moving/yard/garage sales. I was JUST moving to Austin, and I really wanted to go crazy shabby chic in my house. So I went to CL, and I typed in "shabby chic," and this awesome moving sale came up! This woman had collected TONS of cool stuff, and I made out like a bandit! (Lots of stuff for my scrap space.)

Well, one neat thing I found was this awesome shabby chic white cupboard door ($2 maybe?). The second I saw it, I wanted it. And a few seconds after that, I knew what I wanted to do with it.

It did need a bit of a touch-up. An antique white spray paint did the trick here:


Here is a photo of the back. I didn't do anything to the back because... well, who sees that when it's hanging on the wall?!


Next I went to PhotoShop, and I created a new layer the size of the *inside* measurements of the cupboard door (where the photos would go). I changed them all to black and white and cropped if need be. Then I just placed them inside the layer and moved them all around until they "pretty much" fit. I added more photos if I needed them (of all my family). If they all fit in this space, I knew they'd fit on the cupboard door (even if I decided to change the arrangement later on).


Then I transfered all the photos to two new layers (8.5x11"), so I could print them out onto photo paper. Once they were printed, I cut them all up (I did end up moving some around). Some I needed to cut down, but I just arranged them until they worked. Then I ModPodged the heck out of it (on top and underneath the photos), added some awesome lace from Jo-Ann Fabrics, a silk flower from Michaels (drilled a hole into the cupboard and filled it with super glue), and VOILA!


Sits right next to my computer, right above my printer, so I can see it every day. It's one of my very favorite things in my scrap space, and I love that what I envisioned actually came out. :) SO easy too!

So go on, Kids! Go garage sale-ing and thrift store-ing for old cupboard doors! And you could totally add patterned paper and stuff too. I'll probably do another in the future. I think it would make a great housewarming gift. :)

Concealing.

There are many different types of bloggers. Some blog about their lives. Some do not. Some seem to stick to one theme like scrapbooking or doing handstands in cool or mundane places. Some blog about every good and bad thing that happens. Some blog only their struggles. Some blog only the happy times.

I generally fall into the latter category... with a mention here and there about a hard time. But I like to graze over it like a small thorn in a garden of roses. 

I suppose I don't do it intentionally. I like to focus on the good things... positive, optimistic, happy, lively things. I like to focus on good people and good times. And on occasion, I'll mention that I don't like cheesecake or (despite the fact that pregnant women are lovely) the thought of touching a pregnant woman's belly freaks me out more than anything I can think of off the top of my head. But you know... generally happy thoughts.

And then last night, though I was trying to avoid the topic of a certain recent event, someone mentioned it. I casually grazed over it and changed the subject. But then I received an email... an apology from an internet friend. She felt like she had hurt my feelings by unintentionally touching on the topic. Then she shared, "I didn't see an update on your blog recently... so I guess I am just blind or haven't been reading long enough." 

No, Lovely. You are correct. There is nothing on my blog of the sort. 

And that got me thinking. What is this blog I keep? A journal? A diary? Random thoughts? Journaling that will end up on a scrapbook layout one day? I suppose it's all of those things. But most importantly... to me... it's an escape. It's an escape of the life I really do lead. One where I cry every day, but then realize I've cried too much, so I should do my best to make it through a day without crying. A life where I watch an unending line of Friends episodes and eat fresh fruit, cheese and certain meats for the sole reason that it reminds me of my favorite grandfather.

I bake because it reminds me of my mom. I watch movies I've never seen. I color in my coloring book that has been up on a high shelf collecting dust. I chat on the phone with friends for hours and hours. I try my very best to keep my chin up and to focus on the things that really are wonderful in my life.

I have the best friends and family I could ever, EVER ask for. I am truly blessed with those God has placed in my life. And though I sit alone in my house day after day, I still want a life I love. I still want a life I enjoy... things I enjoy, people I enjoy. I always try to stay so strong. Put on a different face. It's so much better to make the best of things. 

But now I feel like I've come to a point where it's too late. It's too late to share what I'm going through. I'm that person who loves to smile. I'm that person who loves to make the best of things. I'm that person who wants to stay strong no matter what. I can't share... on my blog... that I'm *gasp* ... human!

I know, I know, thousands of people go through this every year. And I hate that it's become that. It's become a "yeah, that happens to lots of people. You'll get through it. You'll be fine." And I'm not fine. I feel like someone has died. I feel like a part of me has died. I've never felt so much pain, sadness, and loneliness ever in all my life. I feel like my whole world... everything I know and love is crashing and falling from underneath me. And I really do try to be strong.

But right now... I feel anything but strong. I am so... not myself. And more than anything, I just want to jump through cyberspace, wrap all my friends in my arms and say, "I love you, Ladies! You mean more to me than you could ever know. And right now, you are getting me through the hardest time I've ever, ever been through." And though I'm alone at home, I know in cyberspace, I'm not alone. So... thank you. :)

And thank you for letting be human today.

Surviving.

Phew. This has been a tough year so far.

When I'm having a tough time, I really love to look at older photos. And that brought me to my handstand photos, and that made me want to post to my Handstand blog. :) And that made me smile. :D

Hopefully, soon I'll post pics from CHA. I got to meet so many great people! That will be coming soon. :)

p.s. The Friends episode, The One with Ross's Wedding is awesome in so many ways. One of those reasons being the fact that Hugh Laurie  (House, MD) is the most, totally, awesome guest star ever. :)

Reminiscing Pagosa Springs.

I was reading a friend's profile page today on Facebook. She belongs to a Facebook group called, "I'm from a small town you've never heard of."

Since we're from the same town, I decided to click on the group to see what it had to say. It shares a "you know you're from a small town if..." list. As I read the list, I couldn't help but giggle at how many of those are, in fact, true to our small town.

When I was 14 (just as I was about to enter high school), my parents moved our family from Anaheim, California (population 300,000) to Pagosa Springs, Colorado (population 5,000). Now, Pagosa Springs has doubled in size (and went from having one stop-light to having... *gasp*... SIX)! It still, of course, has that "small town" feel, and I love that everywhere I go, I run into someone I know.

And back to that list on Facebook... it got me reminiscing, and here are a few things that were true about my town, and I love to giggle about.

1. I can name just about everyone I graduated with (there were 94 in my class).

2. I've been to a party 20 miles down a deserted dirt road.

3. Heck, I *lived* down a deserted dirt road, and it took me 25 minutes to get to school.

4. I don't think there is anywere in town that has a speed limit of over 40. It's mostly 25 mph.

5. I still love to go back and visit my high school to see my former teachers (the ones who haven't retired... I did graduate ten years ago) when I'm in town.

6. I thought people who lived in big cities dressed funny... and I then would wear those "trends" two years after I first saw them.

7. If I was looking for a friend or family member and couldn't get them on the phone (*nobody* I knew had a cell phone), I would actually drive around town looking to find their cars in parking lots of their favorite places. :)

8. EVERYONE in town has a phone number that begins with either "731" or "264." When asking a friend for a phone number, only the last four numbers are given. Which side of Pizza Hut (now some outdoor outfitting store) you lived (east or west) depends on the prefix of the number. I STILL say things like, "Okay, so they live on the EAST side of Pizza Hut... that means their number starts with '264'!" LOL.

9. When we first moved there, there was only one grocery store... City Market. After we lived there a year or two, they built another one on the opposite side of town... still (some 12 or so years later), locals affectionately refer to the stores as "The Old City Market" and "The New City Market" respectively.

*Photo, taken by my dad (I think...), is of Snow Wolf Lodge, the Christian Camp my family lived and worked for all four years I was in high school.

Browsing.

Isn't it funny how you're just browsing blogs, and those blogs lead you to other blogs? And sometimes those bring you to other blogs, and then down the road, you're thinking, "Gosh, how the heck did I happen upon this gem?!" LOL.

Well, I was just reading Caroline's blog (which I adore), and she posted about this adorable little blouse:

The Lunch Date Blouse

So I wanted to share.

And hopefully soon, I'll have some CHA photos and stuff, but right now, I really want to scrap! :)