Death.

Life is short. My hero is gone. She died on Monday night. I did get to see her when I visited Minnesota in June. She didn't look old. She didn't look sick. She looked wonderful. We looked at pictures, we listened to music, and we sat outside in the sun.

She loved my big, plastic, lavender sunglasses from Old Navy. I gave them to her, and it made her day. Still... at 91, she looked beautiful in them.

Nothing about her seemed 91.... except the wisdom and courage she had. Those things could only be gained with age. Sincerity, kindness, unconditional love, patience, a loving heart, a giving heart... she had all these things.

She served people and Jesus Christ her entire life. She spent 73 years in the church as a nun... and then retired. Her room in the hospice was never empty. Her smile, laughter and positive attitude radiated to all who knew her. She was a joy. She was popular with adults, children and even the birds down the hall.

Although it seems cliche... I'm privileged just to have met her. She was wonderful, and I thank God that I got to know her the way I did. She said she wanted to out-live her last living sister and brother (my grandfather), but she didn't. She's gone.

My chest hurts still... several days later. My whole body aches. I feel down and depressed... feelings I rarely feel. I know I should be happy... happy that she lived a good life. She served God every minute of every day, and she was the epitome of a good Christian woman. There will always be a hole where Stevie was. My breath still catches in my chest at the sight of her name.

Stevie, I love you... you will always be my human-inspiration. Thank you for being you. I'll never forget you. :)

Your niece, Reyanna Joy

Television.

Jeremy and I are seriously considering getting rid of our television and DVD player. Many reasons. The number one reason (and could possibly be the only one): we don't use it. I don't even remember the last time I turned it on.

We had Netflix all year, and now I'm just... bored of watching movies. We cancelled it. I hate TV shows so I'm not missing anything there. Well, I did watch three shows last year (Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives and The Ellen DeGeneres Show), but I figured I could just rent those on DVD and watch them on our computer or at my parents' house. I feel like it's a waste of space to just have a TV sitting there.

Maybe we'll regret it in a few months, but really... I haven't watched TV in about ten years (thanks, Mom and Dad!). And sure, we'd only get like $50 for both, but hey... a dollar is a dollar.

Even as a child, we didn't have cable or satellite. We had to make-do with CBS, ABC and NBC. No biggie. And now... a big part of me wants to be one of those people who others look at with their mouths gaping open saying, "You *don't* have a television?! How do you survive?! What do you DO?!" I do what people did fifty years ago BEFORE television. THINGS. And I feel like I'm neglecting those things.

I want to read more. I want to spend more time with Jeremy and the puppies. I want to scrapbook and hang out with friends. I want to run and bike and hike and do fun things. I don't want to come home and watch television.

And when I'm driving down the street at night, there's always a glow coming from EVERY living room. They're watching television. And I don't want to be one of those windows.

I think I'll just feel better about my life when I look in my living room, and there's just a place to sit. Maybe some art or some nice knick-knacks to look at. But no television. Sure, people will think we're nuts. But... we are. In more ways than one. We're just not TV people, and we no longer want to conform to the thought that it's novel to have one.

So long, television. You won't be missed.

Weddings.

*sigh* My friend's wedding was magnificent. Truly the best wedding I have ever been to. I cried all day long. Tee hee. She looked so beautiful and in love... so young and innocent (and she is...). I loved it. The songs were great. The ceremony was enchanting and calm. The reception was low-key and stressless for everybody involved (or appeared to be so). I had the best time, and I can't wait to see them again.

I'm glad I got this photo of she and her sisters too. I can't believe I used to *baby-sit* all these girls!! They look so OLD! LOL.

It made me think of my own wedding. Jeremy couldn't come to this wedding with me, but I brought a good friend with me (also a friend of the bride). She had fun lusting after the bride's older brother. Tee hee.

I hate to say it, and I usually look for the positive in situations, but... there were so many things I wished I would have had at my wedding that I didn't...
I wanted a friend of the family to marry us, but because of the date (Christmas Day), he couldn't make it. It was the only day out of the whole year that my parents had off work so none of my friends or other family members could make it either.

We planned it in three weeks (that falls into the elopement category, I think ;-) ), and no dress-shop had my size in stock. I did, though, wear a beautiful off-white and gold, glitter ballgown.
I felt like I looked like a princess. I loved my dress, but I deserved to wear white, and it makes me sad that I didn't get to.

I wanted to dance at my wedding. I wanted to hold Jeremy on the dance floor for the first time as husband and wife, while my family and friends looked on. I wanted to dance with my daddy while he gave me that smile that says, "I can't believe you're grown up now!"

I loved my wedding though.

How could I not? I finally got to marry the man of my dreams. I had a gluten-free cake...

... without somebody telling me it's impossible. (LOL... you wouldn't believe how many cake-shops told me that!) Pachebal's Canon played as I walked down the aisle. It snowed that day and was perfectly clear the next. We didn't get a real honeymoon (we stayed at Disneyland three months later, but we worked there! LOL), but the B&B was lovely.

I tell myself that we will renew our vows, and it will be like the wedding we never had. Maybe I'll even call it my wedding. It will be at the beach (or a hotel on the beach), I'll wear white, my friends and family will be there. Daniel will marry us, and there *will* be dancing. If you think about it... It's almost SO cool to renew vows that way. We have more time to plan and time to save money. I know it will be a blast. :)

Until then, I'm having a great time being married. I love Jeremy SO much, and I love waking up to him every single day. I feel truly blessed to have him, and I thank God every day.

I just hope my friend is as happy as we are. :)

Cereal Foes.

I have a craving for Cap'N Crunch. I'm allergic.

Cocoa Pebbles will have to do. They're kinda stale, but they still taste yummy.

Yummy. Cereal. Yummy.

*emmett* ~ who hasn't had cereal in quite a long time

Books.

I've been reading a lot lately. I missed reading. I felt like I was too busy to read. Well, that was sort of it... too busy with the wrong kinds of activities. Too much time online. So... less internet, more reading.

I'm really enjoying myself. And now, I'd like to start a novel. Maybe more of a collection of stories, but I'm excited. It will be great. I've already started working on it, and I can feel that it's lots of work, but I love it.

I've written many before, but only one did I actually do an outline beforehand. This time, I'm doing it right with the outline. My mom was right... if you write an outline for your book, it practically writes itself. At least my first one did... until I ran out of ideas and put it away. Anyway, this one... that won't happen because it's a true story. Though, I will pass it off as a work of fiction so people don't know how crazy my life really was a teen-ager/college student. Tee hee. I know it will be fun. I can't wait! :)