And the Last of Worm.

Okay so I'm taking a break from packing. This is so very boring and tedious. Oh... maybe I should turn on some music. Yeah... well... I will when I'm finished with this. Anywho...

I thought I'd finish the rest of Diary of a Worm since I won't be updating for a while. So... here it is. (Thought bubbles from the characters and my comments are in parentheses.) Enjoy.

"April 15:

I forgot my lunch today. I got so hungry that I ate my homework. (Another little boy worm has a message from his mom saying, "Eat ALL your trash. XX. Mom" Tee hee.)

My teacher made me write "I will not eat my homework" ten times.

When I was finished, I ate that too.

April 20:

I snuck up on some kids in the park today. They didn't hear me coming.

I wiggled up right between them, and they SCREAMED! (They also ran away.)

I love when they do that.

May 1:

Grandpa taught us that good manners are very important.

So today I said "good morning" to ghe first ant I saw.

"Good morning!" There were 600 more of them in line. "Good morning. Good morning. Good morning How ya doin'? Good morning. Nice to see you. Howdy. Good morning..."

I stood there all day.

May 8:

Had the worst nightmare last night--

... giant birds playing hopscotch.

Mom says I have to stop eating so much garbage right before I go to bed. (He sleeps in a lipton tea bag box! So cute...)

May 15:

I got into a fight with Spider today. He told me you need legs to be cool. Then he ran. I couldn't keep up. Maybe he's right.

May 16:

I made Spider laugh so hard, he fell out of his tree. "THUD" Who needs legs?

May 28:

Last night I went to the school dance. You put your head in. You put your head out. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about.

That's all we could do.

June 5:

Today we made macaroni necklaces in art class. (Easel says: 1. Put head in macaroni. 2. Wiggle. 3. Squirm. 4. Stretch.)

I brought mine home, and we ate it for dinner. Dad said, "You're very talented."

June 15:

My older sister thinks she's so pretty. I told her that no matter how much time she spends looking in the mirror, her face will always look just like her rear end.

Spider thought that was really funny.

Mom did not.

July 4:

When I grow up, I want to be a Secret Service agent. Spider says I will have to be very careful because the president might step on me by mistake.

"It's a dangerous job," I told him. "But someone's got to do it."

July 28:

Three things I don't like about being a worm: 1. I can't chew gum. 2. I can't have a dog. (He has books called "Digging: A History" , "Soil Through the Ages", "My Casting Journal", "Knight Crawlers" and "Compost 101") 3. All that homework.

July 29:

Three good things about being a worm: 1. I never have to go the dentist. Dr. D. Kay says, "No cavities... no teeth either." 2. I never get in trouble for tracking mud through the house. 3. I never have to take a bath. Mom says, "Who's my grubby little boy?"

August 1:

It's not always easy being a worm. We're very small, and sometimes people forget that we're even here.

But, like Mom always says, the earth never forgets we're here."

THE END.

Cool story, huh?! Yeah... it's a classic. Have fun, Monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who will be back on before you know it...

Moving to Rhode Island!

I'll be 23 in two days! Woohoo!

Okay... I haven't updated in two weeks, but we're moving on the 30th (also Jeremy's and my birthday! Yay!), and I'm super busy.

So... that said... this will most likely be my last entry for maybe a month. Ewww... I hate that. Oh well. I'll try to update in a couple weeks... if we have internet at the time.

You all have some fun without me. ;-) Bye monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who will miss reading all the diaries...

p.s. Octavius will be going to live with my sister's best friend in California! Yay! A home. :-) And look how cute and healthy he looks now! :-D

Octavius, the ER and New Shoes!

I got to ride in an ambulance yesterday! Yay! I also got a tour of the emergency room. Fun! ;-) LOL.

Yes, I had an asthma attack yesterday while I was shopping for new shoes. (It must have been the high price that caused me to have the attack! ;-) ) Merrells *are* the BEST.SHOES.EVER. though... barnone! I feel like I'm walking on a piece of heaven. These are now my fifth pair of Merrells (all different styles, of course). Yay! And now I have navy-colored shoes! Woohoo!

But about my asthma... I'm fine now. Not to worry. A bit coughy and weak, but nonetheless, peachy as usual. :)

Okay... so yeah... last Monday I go out into my backyard, and there is a kitten out there! He's an older kitten (3-4 months old), and he looked so cute and small. He was also soaking wet! I live right behind the pool so I figured some dumbass (excuse my French due to my frustration) decided it would be fun and exciting to toss a kitten in the pool repeatedly and then drop it into my backyard. But... Emmett to the rescue!

I went door to door to find his home, but had no luck. A girl though told me the whole story (she could see the pool from her window). Sheesh! My next-door neighbors need to be castrated!

Anywho...

I called the building manager and left a message, and a woman called back the next morning. It went like this:

Hispanic woman: Yes, I get your message about found kitten.

Me: Yes, I found one in my backyard. Has anybody called saying they lost one?

Hispanic woman: No.

Me: (bummed out) Oh... well, if anybody calls, I have him here at my house.

Hispanic woman: What color is he?

Me: He's white.

Hispanic woman: Does he have brown ears and brown tail?

Me: YES! Well, orange ears and tail, but yes!

Hispanic woman: (passively) Oh... that's mine. (giggle)

... silence...

Me: Okay... ummm... he had been thrown in the pool, but I'm taking good care of him. I dried him off, and he slept with us, and my puppies love him! And don't worry because I got him food and a litter box.

Hispanic woman: Yes, he's housetrained.

Me: I know... that's why I got him a litterbox. So... what's his name?

Hispanic woman: Well, we just got him. My brother just gave him to me because he didn't want him. He used to have a collar.

Me: (dumbfounded by the fact that she told me a useless piece of info like... "He used to have a collar") Okay...

Hispanic woman: So... I haven't really given him name yet, but my son want to call him Delicious!

Me: Delicious? Are you serious? Umm... that's silly. I'm calling him Octavius, for now, because it's a nice big and strong name! And I like that name. So as I was saying, he was thrown in the pool by my neighbors.

Hispanic woman: The pool? That's bad. That's like... mean. That's like animal... animal... cruel... ty.

Me: Yes, it is. Why was he outside?

Hispanic woman: Well, he does not get along with my chihuahua so I put the cat out on the back porch, and he just like... took off!

Me: Yes, cats will do that if you let them out. You'll have to keep him as an inside cat if you don't want him to get hurt again.

Hispanic woman: yeah...

Me: So when are you going to come get him?

Hispanic woman: Well, I suppose... I can just... come and get him in at my lunchbreak.

Me: Okay, I'll be waiting. Thanks. See you then.

This woman has now had eight lunchbreaks since that conversation, and I have yet to have a knock on my door or a telephone call from anybody regarding this sweet little kitty. So... it's safe to say that this poor kitty was abandoned, tossed outside, torchered by means of the pool, found by me, and abandoned by said woman. Poor little Octavius.

I am taking good care of him. I first wanted to keep him, but then I pictured us driving 3500 miles with two puppies and a kitten in the car. Does not sound like fun to me. Plus, since I had this bad asthma attack yesterday, I should probably not surround myself with any sort of "trigger." Ruby and Amber don't shed so I know they're not the problem.

I'm bummed about giving him away though. He's so sweet, and he LOVES to cuddle. Ruby loves him. She gives him kisses, plays with him, cuddles with him and even uses him as a pillow. Amber is more the motherly type. She'll sleep next to him and won't let him out of her sight. She makes sure he doesn't get into things. I'm sad to take him away from them, but I'm sure they'll be fine. :-)

So... as of right now, I'm looking for a home for him. I can't justify just taking him to the Humane Society. I know though that if I do take him there, they do F.B.I. background checks and make people jump through flaming hoops in order to get an animal from them. ;-) This makes me worry less, but I'd like to give him to somebody I *know*. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

For now... I'll just keep him away from my face while I sleep. I know he needs to be off my bed, but he LOVES my bed, and he loves to cuddle. How to say no to that little cute face?! I usually just push him over to Jeremy's side or lay him next to Ruby and Amber.

He's a cutie-patootie for sure. I'll keep you all posted. This is enough for today, Monkeys. You take care.

*emmett* ~ who loves herself some puppies and kitties...

Do You Even *Need* a Hairnet?!

My birthday is in 18 days! Woohoo! Now on to more pressing matters...

I just opened my front door and saw a guy with a shaved head wearing a hairnet. That was strange. That is all.

*emmett* ~ who will write more later. :)

p.s. I found a kitty in my backyard. I named him Octavius. I'll tell you more about him soon. He just farted. It smells.

You Call This News?! And Some Worm.

My birthday is in 29 days! Woohoo! And on to more pressing matters...

Sometimes when I wake up in America, I think I'm in some kind of cheesy movie. For example, I wake up this morning and the top four headlines are:

"Saddam calls Bush 'Criminal'" (and he calls you a psycho, Saddam! What's it to ya?!)

"Scott Peterson liked sex talk." (Doesn't everybody?! ;-) )

"Eminem's ex-wife is in jail." (Again?!)

"Mom pelts Chuck E. Cheese mascot." (I'm not really interested in reading about a red-neck wedding reception.)

I kid you not! *Those* were the headlines for today. Whatever happened to pressing matters? Like... how's Mary-Kate's therapy going? How much money did Spiderman 2 rake in last night? And when is the date for J-Lo's next divorce?

I don't know, People. News these days is more like lunchroom gossip. Oh well. At least it gives us a nice laugh, right?!

And some more from Worm:

"April 4:

Fishing season started today. We all dug deeper.

Dad(as shovel digs into the ground): Did you guys hear something?

April 10:

It rained all night, and the ground was soaked. We spent the entire day on the sidewalk.

Hopscotch is a very dangerous game."

*emmett* ~ who had some honeydew melon for breakfast... and thought it was very sweet

p.s. Happy birthday today to my late Aunt Patrice and the late Princess Diana. :-)