Saturday, July 25, 2009
Today, I am the exact age my mom was when she had me. I was born five days before her 28th birthday. And on July 30th, I'll be 28. This photo of her and my grandfather was taken the night before she had me. :)
For some reason, knowing this made me very emotional this week. I really did think I'd have children by now, and the fact that I don't... it's just... I don't know... makes me feel down sometimes.
My mom says she wanted a baby more than anything in the whole world. She always knew she wanted to be a mom. They named me on their wedding day, and her due date was nine months... to the day... from their wedding day. Of course, I was born eleven days late, but still... they planned.
She says she knew before she was pregnant that I would be a girl. They had no boys name picked out. They knew I would be Reyanna Joy.
I love looking at photos of my mom and me when I was a baby. The look on her face... it's pure joy.
And I love that. She really has been the best mom. The best mom EVER. I couldn't ask for better. I really hope I can be as good of a mom as she has been.
It's strange... even though I'll be 28, I don't *feel* that old. I look at my mom's face in this photo, and it's *really* hard to comprehend that she's *my* age. I still feel 18. I see wisdom and knowledge and maturity in her face. I don't see those things when I look in the mirror.
Perhaps after I have children, I'll feel differently. I keep saying, "When I'm 24, I'll feel like an adult." "When I'm 25, I'll feel like an adult." And now... I can say I'm "almost thirty," and I still don't feel like a "grown-up." What *is* that?!?!
Age is relative though, so I suppose it makes sense. People older than I am... they always say to me, "You're so young!" or "You're still young!" And now I say to them, "Hey! This is the oldest I've ever been!"
Well, it's true. ;-)
So maybe next year around this time... I can say that I'll be becoming a mom soon. And then 30 years from now, my daughter will write something similar in her blog...
Posted by *reyanna* at 9:00 AM