Thursday, September 4, 2008

Remembering.


I don't think I've ever posted this layout here, but today... my precious niece, London Michele, would have been FOURTEEN years old! :)

So in memory of her, I wanted to post it along with the journaling:

Well, here it is, London. The last photo. Un-cropped, with all of its imperfections. If I would have known these were going to be the last photos taken of you, things would have been different. I would not have used this camera. And I would have taken more than four photos of you that day.

You wouldn’t be sitting on my bed. You wouldn’t have a silly dinosaur up by your head. I would have sat back a little so the photos would be more in focus. If I would have known these were going to be the last photos of you, I would have made sure they were perfect.

I didn’t know we’d lose you just a few weeks later. I wish I would have held you closer. I wish I would have kissed you over and over and over. I wish I would have taken more photos of us together… just me and you, my first niece.

I would have told you I loved you… not ten times a day, but every second I was with you. I would have asked, just for one night, if you could sleep in my room. I would have cuddled you every chance I got. I would have hugged you and never let go.

If I only would have known! But, Baby, I didn’t know. God was the only one who knew.

Yes, I would have done many things differently. But, London, there’s one thing I wouldn’t change, not for all the photos in the world.

I’m still so proud that I got to be the one… the one to take the last photo.

*******
We lost her to SIDS, January 26, 1995. I found the negatives for these photos last year, and I've really been wanting to scrap them and journal. I wrote poems and little stuff like that back in 1995 (I was in 8th grade), but I haven't *really* journaled about her till now. Felt good. Really good. Love scrapping as therapy. :)

Happy Birthday, London! We miss you and love you! :)

4 comments:

Emilie Ahern said...

AMAZING Perfect Journaling.

Bashful said...

Such a beautiful, but difficult, thing to scrap. You did an amazing job! Thanks for sharing!

Nichole said...

wow. I am moved to tears. This journaling is so heartfelt. Someone recently said to me, the more personal your blog, the more people relate to you. I have such a hard time with that. And then I read this, and was so moved. The photos are beautiful!
Your right, scrapping is very therapeutic.
thanks for sharing this.
nichole

Linda said...

Wonderful layout! My husband lost a sister to sids many years ago. We have the last photos of her. You have inspired me to scrap them for him. Thanks so much for sharing such heartache.