Anyway, I have a story to tell you. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I just said. Nothing. At all. Nope. Nada. Mm-hmm... yeah.
So my next door neighbors... They let their 4-year-old daughter pick out their Christmas tree. Yeah, she picked out one that was over TWELVE feet high. Kid you not. (I know that I tend to exaggerate, but really this story is so crazy, I don't even have to! *That's* how crazy it is! *I*, me, Emmett. I *don't* have to exaggerate this story.)
Anyway... And our ceilings? Yeah, they're 7.5 feet tall.
So they actually brought that tree home. Yes, and it was sitting outside on their back-porch. And I swear to God, you could climb up that tree and then climb into their 2nd story window if you wanted to. I mean, if you *wanted* to. I'm just sayin'.
I asked them what possessed them to buy a tree that large. Their answer? "It didn't look *that* big at the lot." How could it not look that big? It's almost three times the height of the wife! And it was *in* the ground at the tree farm, meaning it was *taller* there than it was when they brought it home.
So yeah, the story gets worse. "But Emmett..." You ask "... what could *possibly* be more stupid than buying a twelve foot Christmas tree for 7-foot ceilings." Yeah, they actually tried to move it into the house. Mm-hmm. I'm being serious. Nope, not joking. Needless to say, it didn't fit. Pfff.
They ended up sawing off part of the tree so they could fit it in the house. No, they didn't saw off the *bottom* half to bring that part into the house. That would have been funny though, wouldn't it? Tee hee.
*emmett* ~ who is smart enough to *ask* the height of the tree before she purchases one...