O Christmas... WHOA! That Tree is HUGE!

I don't like name-calling. I mean, even though I'm terrible at times, and in my mind I'm thinking, "Gosh, that is so white-trash." Or "What a redneck!" I would never say those things out loud, and I would never let people know that I *think* those things... *ahem*

Anyway, I have a story to tell you. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I just said. Nothing. At all. Nope. Nada. Mm-hmm... yeah.

So my next door neighbors... They let their 4-year-old daughter pick out their Christmas tree. Yeah, she picked out one that was over TWELVE feet high. Kid you not. (I know that I tend to exaggerate, but really this story is so crazy, I don't even have to! *That's* how crazy it is! *I*, me, Emmett. I *don't* have to exaggerate this story.)

Anyway... And our ceilings? Yeah, they're 7.5 feet tall.

So they actually brought that tree home. Yes, and it was sitting outside on their back-porch. And I swear to God, you could climb up that tree and then climb into their 2nd story window if you wanted to. I mean, if you *wanted* to. I'm just sayin'.

I asked them what possessed them to buy a tree that large. Their answer? "It didn't look *that* big at the lot." How could it not look that big? It's almost three times the height of the wife! And it was *in* the ground at the tree farm, meaning it was *taller* there than it was when they brought it home.

So yeah, the story gets worse. "But Emmett..." You ask "... what could *possibly* be more stupid than buying a twelve foot Christmas tree for 7-foot ceilings." Yeah, they actually tried to move it into the house. Mm-hmm. I'm being serious. Nope, not joking. Needless to say, it didn't fit. Pfff.

They ended up sawing off part of the tree so they could fit it in the house. No, they didn't saw off the *bottom* half to bring that part into the house. That would have been funny though, wouldn't it? Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who is smart enough to *ask* the height of the tree before she purchases one...

He Could Be Famous!

I really want Jeremy to be a voice-over artist. He'd be SO good at it. He was an announcer in high school and college, and he became SO popular.

Problem is... that business is pretty hard to get into. He'd probably have to be a radio DJ first, and he doesn't want to do that. Dork. Or maybe you have to sleep with somebody to get a big job like that. I don't know. But I wouldn't want him sleeping with any CEOs. Some of those guys are nasty. Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who would love it if her husband could just find something he'd enjoy...

The Cutest Twins in the World.

My nieces are so cute. My sister told me this story the other day:

My sister: Brenna, would you like some whipped cream on your Jell-O?

Brenna: Well, that stuff *is* fabulous, but no thank you.

And another story:

My sister walks into their bedroom one morning, and Alaura is twirling.

My sister: Alaura, what are you doing?

Alaura: I'm pretending that I'm Princess Fiona from Shrek... the motion picture.

LOL! I kid you not. She said those exact words.

Tee hee. Did I mention that Brenna and Alaura are not even three-years-old yet? Those twinkies crack me up.

*emmett* ~ who can't wait to meet her sister's new daughter... when she's born in two months

Ken Jennings... is... *sniff* ... gone... *sniff*...

Dear Ken Jennings,

I miss you already.

Love,
*emmett* ~ who is sad to see Ken go...