Awww... Memories.

I love the super-good feeling I get inside me when I see things from my childhood. This is happening more and more recently now that the old 1980s toys are coming back. Like when I see My Little Ponies or Holly Hobbie or Full House. *sigh* I love the feeling. It's like deep in my soul... a warm, feel-good feeling. I love it. Memories are nice. :)

*emmett* ~ who now wants to collect Holly Hobbie stuff...

Christmas and Stuff.

Happy New Year... and stuff.

I hate New Year's resolutions. I never make them. Okay, that's not true. I made one once... several years ago. And I became very obsessive-compulsive about it because everybody knows that people never keep resolutions.

So yeah, I kept that one. It was to wash my hands more. And I do... obsessively... like I said. I even wash my hands after I go pee, and I'm about to get in the shower and be all soapy. So yeah, obsessed. But on the other hand (as I'm just this second realizing), I've been sick a lot less. :-) I did have one hell of a case of bronchitis (complete with a fever) all through the holidays though. Yeah, that sucked.

So Christmas was good. I got almost everything I asked for... but then again, I only had about six things on my list. :) So I now just need to get myself a soup cookbook (Book of Soups) and some cloth grocery bags with the Christmas money I got. :)

I have more to say, but I don't feel like making this a long entry. I'll try to talk about "why I think New Year's Day as a holiday is stupid" another day. :)

*emmett* ~ who thinks that New Year's Day as a holiday is stupid

O Christmas... WHOA! That Tree is HUGE!

I don't like name-calling. I mean, even though I'm terrible at times, and in my mind I'm thinking, "Gosh, that is so white-trash." Or "What a redneck!" I would never say those things out loud, and I would never let people know that I *think* those things... *ahem*

Anyway, I have a story to tell you. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I just said. Nothing. At all. Nope. Nada. Mm-hmm... yeah.

So my next door neighbors... They let their 4-year-old daughter pick out their Christmas tree. Yeah, she picked out one that was over TWELVE feet high. Kid you not. (I know that I tend to exaggerate, but really this story is so crazy, I don't even have to! *That's* how crazy it is! *I*, me, Emmett. I *don't* have to exaggerate this story.)

Anyway... And our ceilings? Yeah, they're 7.5 feet tall.

So they actually brought that tree home. Yes, and it was sitting outside on their back-porch. And I swear to God, you could climb up that tree and then climb into their 2nd story window if you wanted to. I mean, if you *wanted* to. I'm just sayin'.

I asked them what possessed them to buy a tree that large. Their answer? "It didn't look *that* big at the lot." How could it not look that big? It's almost three times the height of the wife! And it was *in* the ground at the tree farm, meaning it was *taller* there than it was when they brought it home.

So yeah, the story gets worse. "But Emmett..." You ask "... what could *possibly* be more stupid than buying a twelve foot Christmas tree for 7-foot ceilings." Yeah, they actually tried to move it into the house. Mm-hmm. I'm being serious. Nope, not joking. Needless to say, it didn't fit. Pfff.

They ended up sawing off part of the tree so they could fit it in the house. No, they didn't saw off the *bottom* half to bring that part into the house. That would have been funny though, wouldn't it? Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who is smart enough to *ask* the height of the tree before she purchases one...

He Could Be Famous!

I really want Jeremy to be a voice-over artist. He'd be SO good at it. He was an announcer in high school and college, and he became SO popular.

Problem is... that business is pretty hard to get into. He'd probably have to be a radio DJ first, and he doesn't want to do that. Dork. Or maybe you have to sleep with somebody to get a big job like that. I don't know. But I wouldn't want him sleeping with any CEOs. Some of those guys are nasty. Tee hee.

*emmett* ~ who would love it if her husband could just find something he'd enjoy...

The Cutest Twins in the World.

My nieces are so cute. My sister told me this story the other day:

My sister: Brenna, would you like some whipped cream on your Jell-O?

Brenna: Well, that stuff *is* fabulous, but no thank you.

And another story:

My sister walks into their bedroom one morning, and Alaura is twirling.

My sister: Alaura, what are you doing?

Alaura: I'm pretending that I'm Princess Fiona from Shrek... the motion picture.

LOL! I kid you not. She said those exact words.

Tee hee. Did I mention that Brenna and Alaura are not even three-years-old yet? Those twinkies crack me up.

*emmett* ~ who can't wait to meet her sister's new daughter... when she's born in two months

Ken Jennings... is... *sniff* ... gone... *sniff*...

Dear Ken Jennings,

I miss you already.

Love,
*emmett* ~ who is sad to see Ken go...

My Letter to Julia Roberts.

Dear Julia Roberts,

Thank you so much for naming your twins Phinnaeus and Hazel and not Jacob, Jaden, Tyler, Emma, Madison or Katelin (et al spellings). (Not that those are bad names, they're perfectly good, pretty names!)

It's just that... In five years (heck we have millions of them already), we will have so many of those kids, you won't ever find any other names on personalized stationary or refrigerator magnets. You'll only be able to find those six names. Okay, maybe Ava and Ella and Aidan and Braden and Caden will be in there too, but that's about it. Oh, look... I'm getting off on a tangent here. Just... thanks. Good names and congrats to you!

*emmett* ~ who thinks that unusual, unique and creative names are cool.

Missing the Pumpkin Pie.

I just remembered that I didn't put any sugar in my pumpkin pie. I used Splenda instead... so it probably would have been okay for breakfast. I'm such a cotton-headed ninny muggins. Oh well.

*emmett* ~ who will probably make another pumpkin pie. Hers is gone...

My Very Own Thanksgiving!

The morning after Thanksgiving, I always want to have pumpkin pie for breakfast. Today is no exception. However, I am much wiser this year than I have been in years past. I remember that sugary desserts and I do not go well together... especially in the morning. So I had two slices of toast instead. :)

Yesterday, I cooked for four hours. No, I didn't have family over. It was just Jeremy and me. But I liked it. I LOVE cooking, and yesterday was fun. I've never cooked that much food, and I've never made any of the stuff I made, and I've definitely never cooked for four hours without stopping. *laugh* But it was still fun. So... for the first time, I made:

an 11.5-pound turkey (which looks beautiful, if I do say so myself...)
yummy stuffing (that turned out fantabulous, if I do say so... tee hee)
pumpkin pie
mashed potatoes w/gravy (okay, I've made that before yesterday)
a loaf of bread

ALL.BY.MYSELF. I'm so cool.

*emmett* ~ who gives her mom most the credit since she used her mom's cookbook for the entire meal... except for the seasoning in the stuffing... that was my own concoction...

p.s. And now we have TONS of leftovers. But I'm bringing some to my family today. Tonight is the opening of my parents' new restaurant! And we will be surprising them... Yay. :)

My Bra Has Instructions For Use!

My favorite sports bra was made by Calvin Klein. I got it when I was around 15, and I STILL had it until a week ago. Hubby washed it. It was hand-wash only.

Anyway, I was quite bummed, but then I realized that it's not really that big of a deal. I'll just go get another one. Cool thing was: the store I went to had almost the EXACT same one I bought eight years ago. Woohoo!

So... I'm checking out my new bra this morning, and I decide that I should glance at the washing instructions. BUT... they're aren't any. AND it's made in Israel. I've never seen anything that has said, "Made in Israel," but it's irrelevant in this story.

So... there's only one tag, and no instructions. I'm like... "Okay, what the heck do I do?" So after staring at the tag for a while, I notice that there are little pictures on it. But these pictures... DO.NOT.HELP.

Am I stupid? I didn't *think* I was stupid. But they are very silly pictures. There is a small set of waves with a "30" under it, a triangle, a circle, another circle with a dot in it (surrounded by a square), and a mouse with an "X" over it.

Okay, it's probably not *supposed* to be a mouse, but it looks like one so we'll say it is for the sake of argument. And there are two sets of pictures... one for US/Canada and one for Europe because washing instructions (or instructions for use, maybe?!) for this bra apparently differ by country.

I came to the conclusion that if companies are going to change from the universal standard, "Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. No iron." or "Hand wash. Line dry." to silly little pictures... then companies (or at least Calvin Klein) really need to include a key. :-)

Since they didn't, I'm just going to use my best judgment. Since these pictures apparently don't show any signs of being related to anything made by Maytag, I'm guessing that they're simply "Instructions for Use." So here's the key for Calvin Klein sports bras (just in case you decide to purchase one):

Picture: small set of waves with #30
Meaning: You can wear this bra to the beach if you are over the age of 30. If you're 29, you'll just have to wear a bathing suit like everybody else.

Picture: a circle
Meaning: You can use this bra even if you don't have nipples.

Picture: a circle with a dot in the middle (inside a square)
Meaning: You can wear this bra even if you like to draw squares around your breasts.

Picture: triangle
Meaning: You can wear this bra in a teepee if you'd like.

Picture: a mouse with an "X" over it
Meaning: Don't let a mouse eat your bra.

I'm SURE that's what Calvin Klein meant by those pictures. I mean, what else could they mean?

*emmett* ~ who will just hand wash and line dry the bra... just to be safe. She'll also be sure to keep it away from mice...

VOTE... But Not For Bush or Kerry...

I'm going to join the masses today and say...

VOTE!

However... I will not join the masses in saying, "Will you vote for Bush or Kerry?" Yes, there *are* more than two candidates. And yes, I *will* vote for one of them. Okay, I already voted. I voted for Cobb. He's cool. :)

Next time, research ALL the candidates and THEN vote. It's much more fun. And you're "so much more cooler" when somebody asks you who you voted for, and you can say a name that person has never heard of. Makes you feel very smart and political. So go ahead next time and do that... even if it's only to make you look smart. ;-)

*emmett* ~ who is celebrating her 4-year anniversary today... for *being* with her husband Jeremy. (He's the best!) Only 52 shopping days left until our 2nd wedding anniversary, oh yeah... and Christmas Day. :-)

Need the Sex?

I was on a message board today, and somebody needed help choosing a name for a character she was creating. This other poster replied:

"I have some ideas, but I need the sex first."

I seriously laughed SO hard! Because everyone knows that the best ideas come right after sex, and it's much easier to relay those ideas if you just had some. ;-) Tee hee. Don't mind me. I'm silly.

*emmett* ~ whose mind is usually *not* in the gutter...

Granny, Your Balls Are Showing.

I was at the mall the other day, and I saw this little old lady pushing a walker. Now, I've seen lots of walkers in my day. I even used one when I broke both of my legs, and just by these two things... I know they've been around a while.

Have *you* seen one recently? The front two legs have wheels on the ends. And the back two legs? Do you know what is attached to *those*? Tennis balls! Yes, you read that correctly. Tennis balls. As in, "Grab me one of those, Venus! No... not that one off Granny's walker! Grab me one that doesn't have a walker leg stuck in it!"

I've been seeing these for several years now. And at first, I was like... "Hmm... the thingies must have fallen off, and they're using tennis balls as pushing devices. How creative! *Some*body has a sense of ingenuity!"

But now? you would think that "walker-making" companies would have come up with something by now that has the same function. You know... come up with a neat *doo-hickey-thing* rather than something that makes you think, "What happened, Granny?! Did you fall off the bleachers... and into a tennis match?"

Seriously people! We can send satellites to Mars, and we can make Kitchen Aid in 21 different colors, but we can't come up with a piece that fits on the bottom of a walker? I mean... that fuzzy, chartreuse ball is cute and all, but not at all classy. ;-)

Or maybe it just so happens that all the old people I see are former tennis players, and they just wanted a way to *spruce* up their walker to be more personalized. That's got to be it! ;-)

*emmett* ~ who is just glad she doesn't need a walker anymore :)

*Photo credit unknown.

The Internet is Dumb... Sometimes...

Well, I had a nice little (but really not-so little) story to share, but my internet is being very stupid lately, and it won't let me post more than 8 lines or something like that. And I don't really feel like posting like 3 different entries to get ONE point across so I'll just wait until Jeremy fixes it. I better end this note now. It may be too long already.

Take care, Monkeys.

*emmett* ~ who thinks the internet is dumb... sometimes...

p.s. I guess it worked... but barely...

Frost and Free Food.

This morning, we had our first frost. Not only that, but I could actually *see* my breath! Yay! That means it's cold.

*emmett* ~ who missed the cold and snow oh-so-much and is really getting excited for winter...

p.s. Today 90 pounds of gluten-free food were delivered to my doorstep... FREE! Gosh, frost and free food in one day! This is my lucky day! :)